Beautiful Disaster
by JuliaSark05
Summary: Syd is back from her two missing years, only to go missing for another two months. Vaughn is finally questioning his marriage to Lauren and Sydney has some tough decisions to make.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok so this is my first time posting a story here so please read and review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Alias esp. the characters. If I did Vaughn would have never married Lauren and there would be a lot more of him running around shirtless. **

**Summary: Yeah I'm really bad at these but it's a Sarkney, mainly, there will be S/V trust me. Syd is back from her missing years but was 'kidnapped' by ****Sark**** for two months on one of her missions. It's a couple of months later and well shes trying to figure out her feelings and everything. **

**oh and the point of view constantly changes but when Sydney is talking to someone I try to put her thoughts in italics.**

**Please let me know what you think and be harsh if you have too. oh and there are song lyrics mixed in and I can't figure out how to space everything right so sorry if it's all bunched together.**

**Chapter 1**

Sometimes it's all an act. A lie, a part to be played. Sometimes it feels like it's all the time. That no matter where I am or who I'm with that I'm still playing that part because deep down I know the me that I have been being is not the real me. The real me has become empty and lost in all of the cities that I've been to and aliases that I've played. The only time I was ever me was when I wasn't allowed to be. I can't believe I let my guard fall….ooh but it felt so good. His arms just made me feel so safe and those eyes, those beautiful blue eyes never judged me. If only it were really possible for us to be together….

_He's strong as what I believe_

_A tragedy with more damage then a soul should see_

_But do I try to change him_

_It's so hard not to blame him_

_Hold me tight, baby hold me tight…._

"Sydney? Sydney are you okay?" A slightly out of breathe Marshall had suddenly appeared disturbing Sydney's thoughts.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, Marshall I'm fine thanks. Just a little tired still from the jet lag I guess."

"Oh okay well there's a debriefing in five minutes. Looks like you might be going on another mission."

_Oh great another mission._ "Ok thanks Marshall I'll be right there."

"Okay do you want me to wait for you? I mean we could walk together….Uhh or not it's okay I'll just be going now see you in there."

As Marshall jostled off and the fake smile that had been plastered on her lips faded, Sydney took a moment to compose herself. She knew she shouldn't let her mind wonder to her mission a couple of months ago. It was stupid and it was over she shouldn't waste time or energy fantasizing about it. After all, nothing could come of it; he was a wanted terrorist in more then 26 countries and she was a CIA agent. No there was no way anything could ever come of it. She should just forget about it like her missing years, just erase the memory all together.

_And if I hold on though the tears and the laughter_

_Lord would it be beautiful or just a beautiful disaster_

Another dull briefing with longing looks from Vaughn and encouraging glances from Weiss. If only things were different maybe it wouldn't be so hard. But it's so hard to be pitied by everyone in the office. True she had 'died' and lost all of her friends and family and Vaughn had moved on and married Lauren who had a particular hatred for Sydney. But not all bad things had come from it. She was closer to her father and Weiss had become such a close friend but oh who was she kidding life just sucked.

"It seems Sark has disappeared off the grid again and we are following up on some leads that will hopefully clarify what his next move is." Dixon stated as he began shuffling some papers around looking for something.

_What! Oh no I should have been paying attention. What's this about Sark? I mean we have to find him and capture him for umm questioning right. Think Sydney think. _"What do we think his next move might be?" _I'm only asking because I want to know what kind of weather to pack for, right? I don't care what Sark is up to. I mean its not like we're together or anything. Wait, no. I care about his motives when it involves national security._

"Well, see that's the thing. It seems as though Sark has disconnected himself with the Covenant and is now trying to bring them down from within. It seems that he got tired of playing their errand boy while they were running the show with his money."

"We're not sure how accurate this information is or if the Covenant is even aware of his recent activities." _Does Dad always have to be so skeptical of our intel? Maybe Sark is turning himself around. _

"The NSC is under the impression that he is still working with the Covenant and any actions suggesting otherwise are simply a ruse." At this Lauren threw a smug smile in Sydney's direction. _Ugh, how I truly despise that woman and not because she married Vaughn. I'm not in love with Vaughn anymore, not like I was anyway. True I was and I still am hurt that he gave up on me, on us like he did but really I've changed and so has he and its just not the same anymore. But why did he have to marry Lauren? Lauren. She is such a smug little…I just don't trust her. It's like she is constantly hiding something and everything is always the NSC this and the NSC that. And she is after all Lindsay's little pet and there was that whole Sydney killed Lazerazy lets torture her and perform permanent brain damage causing surgery on her. And even Sark seemed leery of her. Oh no don't go there. Just focus on what Dixon is saying._

"Ok Sydney you'll leave tomorrow morning. Vaughn, Weiss you'll go with her as backup and coms. Any questions? Okay get to work everyone. Dismissed" _Oh no what did I miss? Where are we going and is Sark involved?_

_And if I try to save to him_

_My whole world would cave in_

_It just ain't right, no it just ain't right_

_Oh and I don't know what he's after_

_But he's so beautiful_

_He's such a beautiful disaster_

Lyrics: Beautiful Disaster by Kelly Clarkson


	2. Chapter 2

**Please read and review. Feedback is what keeps me alive!**

Chapter 2

_Is this a dream?_

_If it is please don't wake me from this high _

_I'd become comfortably numb until _

_You opened up my eyes_

_To what it's like when everything's right_

This is such a bad idea. Sark is going to be there. Well most likely anyway but still Sark is going to be there. What am I going to do? We haven't talked since I left and I don't know if he'll be mad or hurt or if he even cares. I mean it's not like he came running after me. It was nothing; I don't know why I keep making such a big deal out of it. He probably won't even remember. But he was so gentle and caring and so unlike the Sark I knew and if he has disconnected himself with the Covenant then maybe… No I'm not even going to think that and as much as I dislike Lauren she is probably right; Sark is still with the Covenant any actions suggesting otherwise are a ruse. So it's business as usual then, get in, get the disk and get out. Right that's all there is to it. I'll just go home and pack and get some sleep before I have to be up impossibly early to fly to Paris. The last time I saw him in Paris I still despised him even if he was delicious looking in his Armani suit…

_You found me when no one else was looking _

_How did you know just where I would be?_

_Yeah you broke through all of my confusion_

_The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave_

_I guess that you saw what nobody could see_

_You found me_

But when Sydney unlocked her door she knew. She sensed something was off and for a second she thought maybe he was there but she shrugged that off as wishful thinking. But as she entered the living room she couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. She pulled out her gun and rounded the corner to the kitchen to find nothing. _All this thinking about Sark must just have made me jumpy. I'll just go take a nice long bath, pack, and go to bed and figure this all out in the morning._

"Hello Sydney. So nice to see you again. And I see you're looking rather well, a little thinner then the last time. Still not eating regularly I see." And there he was, looking as sexy as ever, standing in the doorway to her bedroom.

"What's it to you, Sark? And what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off plotting something evil?" _Why am I being so mean to him? Oh I know because he shows up now, why now?_

"So its back to Sark now is it? Okay well then Miss Bristow I suggest you hear my proposition over an exquisite meal as I'm sure you haven't eaten one, if anything at all in months?" At this Sark started to leave the bedroom entrance and head towards the kitchen. _Ugh where does he get off giving me one of those signature smirks and eating advice? Although it is true, I have missed his cooking. But wait dinner with him and a proposition._

"Wait, what kind of proposition are we talking about here, Sark?"

"Well a business one of course Miss Bristow. What other kind of proposition would I come to you with?" And he just kept walking to the kitchen and began looking around for what one could only assume was something to make.

"What are you doing, Sark? I haven't accepted anything and I certainly haven't consented to you sniffing around my kitchen." _With that look of disapproval I might add._/

_  
_"I'm looking for something to make of course. Although I see that there is nothing here, which I expected and is why I brought some things with me. I'll just go get them from the rest of my things." He headed off for the bedroom, leaving a very stunned Sydney pondering just how much of his stuff had he brought and what exactly was he planning.

"Hold up Sark." And as she rounded the corner to her bedroom she was thrown into a state of shock. The place was covered in rose petals, lavender ones, pink ones, white ones, and red ones everywhere. On top of that there were candles everywhere (her favorite scent, honeydew melon), dishes set up and food sitting in serving containers. Sark had turned her bedroom into the most romantic room ever. Flower vines draped from the ceiling, windows, and the entrance ways to her closet, bathroom, and main door. White Christmas lights outlined the whole room as well as mixed in with the flower vines swaying around the ceiling. It cast such a beautiful glow around the room; it was simply the sweetest. But that wasn't the only thing that Sydney noticed he had done. His shoes were lined up neatly next to hers at the row at the end of her bed. And she wasn't sure but she thought she saw an extra toothbrush in her bathroom and some suits hanging in the closet before he shut the doors, and was that a new dress lying on her bed? She didn't know what to say but she knew she had to say something; she couldn't just stand there gaping at the room forever.

_So, here we are  
That's pretty far  
When you think of where we've been  
No going back_

"…What is all this?" _Omg what a stupid thing to say._

"Dinner of course. You didn't think I was simple going to discuss business over a TV dinner did you?"

"Um no, but…"

"Good, I've brought you something to change into if you'd like and then we can get down to business." He pointed to the dress lying on the bed. It was perfect. Nothing too fancy but delicate and very springy; just perfect for the mood that he had created. It was a deep red with a v-neck and a skirt that flowed out from her waist. She could just see herself twirling around the room in it.

"Of course if you'd rather take a bath first and freshen up I'd understand. The food should stay warm." _Oh god right I must be such a mess but there is no way I'm going to take a bath with him standing in the next room or was he implying that we take that bath together?_

"No thank you. I'll just go change and maybe freshen up in the bathroom real quick…. Don't try anything while I'm gone."

_I'm fading out  
All that has faded me within  
You're by my side  
Now everything's fine  
I can't believe  
You found me_

Omg. Sark is in my bedroom and he has turned it into the most romantic place ever and oh my god he has practically moved in here. His toothbrush is in here along with his toothpaste and other bathroom accessories. What is going on? We don't talk for months and suddenly he shows up unannounced and moves himself in without even asking me. Oh no I don't think so. But oh this dress is so gorgeous and that dinner smelled so good and he looks so good and this just can't be real. Okay breathe, 1, 2, 3. I'm just going to change and then see what happens.

_You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know just where I would be?  
Yeah, you broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
You found me_

Lyrics: You found me by Kelly Clarkson


	3. Chapter 3

**So there haven't been any reviews so far and I'm not sure if thats because its too soon & no one has read it or if people don't like it. So if I don't get any reviews in the next week or so I guess I'll just stop the story here. **

**Chapter 3**

_You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know just where I would be?  
You broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
The good and the bad  
And the things in between  
You found me_

When Sydney exited the bathroom she looked absolutely stunning. Even Sark was impressed, his jaw couldn't help but drop slightly and he nearly spilled the wine he was pouring all over himself. Sydney just smiled at his reaction; it was nice to know that she could still surprise him.

"See something you're interested in Sark?" Sydney smiled coyly at him as she continued her entrance into her room and seated herself on the floor in front of the food that Sark had been setting out. Sark was still too stunned to say anything and starred at her for another second or two before coming out of his trance.

"I'm impressed Miss Bristow, I expected you to take far more time getting ready. I know you don't usually like to rush things." With this Sark sat down across from her and handed her her wine glass.

"Well I do hope my rushed appearance doesn't disappoint you but I was intrigued and couldn't wait to hear your proposition." Still not touching her food, Sydney unfolded her napkin and laid it gently across her lap waiting for his response. He was going to have to make the first move.

"Well then a toast perhaps to new beginnings and perhaps even beautiful disasters." He raised his glass in anticipation, hoping that Sydney would respond. _She has to of guessed why I'm here. Why is she making this so difficult? Doesn't she know I would do anything for her, to see her happy?_

Sydneyloved watching thegenerallyover cocky Julian Sark squirm a little. _He's made me wait all this time for him I think he can wait a little longer._

"Not so fast, Sark. I want to hear just what kind of new beginnings you have in mind before I toast to it. I've heard that you've been up to some rather questionable activities lately. I'm not sure I can afford to make a business deal with someone as unpredictable as yourself." Sark didn't miss a beat. He had expected her to be hesitant. He knew she had wanted him to come after her when she left but he felt it better to wait it out just in case. He wanted to have something to real to offer her before he asked her to risk her career and her life to share one with him. He knew she would take some winning over but he had not expected her to make it so hard on him. Still he was up to the challenge. He lowered his glass, spread out his napkin and began to cut up his château-brion.

"Is that what you've heard? Since when have you, Miss Bristow, believed everything you've heard? Iwas under the impression you were into investigating the truth yourself. Or have you grown soft working your cushy job at the CIA?" He knew he'd pushed her a little hard there but he felt it was necessary.

"I have not become _soft_." Sydney could not believe the audacity of his statement. The implication that she Sydney Bristow had a cushy job and become soft was too much for her.

"And I do investigate for myself which is why I have gone along with this dinner proposition thus far. So cut the sht, Sark and tell me what you want?"

Sark couldn't help but be amused at her response. He had gotten to her and he loved every minute of it. He loved how she blushed when she couldn't control her feelings and the way she had tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear as she finished her statement. She was so beautiful and so amazing it was so hard for him to resist the urge to jump across the makeshift table and kiss her. But instead he simply responded with a smirk and "I would have thought, Miss Bristow, that it was completely obvious what I want."

Sydney couldn't help but blush even more and she tried to hide it by taking a sip of her wine but Sark knew she was surprised and flattered by his statement. He hadn't meant to throw her off guard so much but he was a little thrown off his by her as well. He knew why she'd left and he had understood but still he had thought she had more feelings for him and would have reacted better to his presence.

"Perhaps Sark you should clarify your intentions then, sense they are not so clear." The double meaning of her statement was not lost on Sark. He knew she was curious about his business dealings as well as his motives for showing up in her apartment like he had.

"As you wish then Miss Bristow. I assume you've heard that I've recently been involved in activities that suggest I have turned against the covenant." Seeing a slight nod of acknowledgement from Sydney he carried on. "It is true; I have in fact been working to bring the covenant down from the inside. Unfortunately, I believe they have become suspicious of my actions and have in fact been tailing me. As a result I have been forced to put a halt to my plans until I have once again won over their trust." At this Sark paused to sip his wine and gauge Sydney's reaction.

"How am I do know if I should believe you or not? The NSC is under the impression that your actions are simply a ruse to throw of the CIA." _I can't believe I just brought the NSC into this._

"My dear Sydneyhave I not already warned that you shouldn't believe everything you hear, especially when it comes from the NSC, particularly that Miss Reed." His slip up of referring to her as Sydney was not lost on either of them but Sydney was beginning to become impatient. If he was being tailed why had he come to here to a CIA agent's home and where did she come into his plans?

"Tell me Sark why is that I should believe what you say? You tell me not to believe everything I hear and who I should and shouldn't trust. What makes you think I would listen to your advice on such matters?" If Sark was more than a little surprised by her anger he kept it well hidden. He simply stood him and walked over to a briefcase and pulled out some files which he brought over and place in front of her without saying a word. Sydney could tell of course that he was hurt or angry at least that she had questioned his word and judgment, but there wasn't much she could do about it now.

"What's all this?" It was all she could think to ask him as she began to leaf through the papers in front of her. He took a long sip of his wine before reaching for the bottle and pouring himself more. Finally after several more long sips he responded.

"I would have thought that by now Miss Bristow you would have come to trust me but if you require evidence that I am speaking the truth then by all means look through the files. I assure you the documents have not been doctored at all. They simply show what I have been working on these past few months. Information I have gathered on the inter workings of the Covenant, senior members, their future plans and ultimate goals, my research, and my own plans. I should think they will satisfy your curiosity and give you at least some reason to trust me. However, should they not I will leave and no longer burden you with my presence." At this Sydney closed the file and made up her mind. She looked him straight in the eyes for a moment just to be sure and was surprised to see the depth of emotion and love in them.

"No, Julian I don't think that will be necessary. But I am still curious as to why you are here and just what exactly your proposition is."

_And I was hiding  
'Til you came along  
And showed me where I belong  
You found me  
You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know?  
How did you know?  
(You found me) _


	4. Chapter 4

**wow! thanks for all the reveiws! you guys are great! When I have more time I promise to respond to each them! heres chapter 4, please read and review!**

**Chapter 4_  
_**

"Lets eat first and then I will tell you everything." Sark lifted his fork and began to eat waiting anxiously to see if Sydney would go along. Sydney eyed him curiously but did not object to his suggestion as the idea of eating the scrumptious meal in front of her was too appealing.

They both ate in silence not wanting to disturb each others thoughts. Finally when they both had finished Sark went to the kitchen and brought back dessert.

"Sark…this is amazing. I mean you decorated the place, you made a delicious dinner and now you've got dessert too. What is it you're up to? Are you trying to seduce me?" Sark couldn't help but smirk at her flirtatious manner.

"Why? Is it working?"

"No. But it's nice that you would try."

"Anything to make you smile." Sydney blushed uncontrollably at Sark's last statement. She had dreamt of this moment so many times over the past couple of months and she had tried to stop herself from thinking it could ever be true. But here he was giving her one of the most romantic nights ever and even if it was all just to get her to work with him on his Covenant business she wanted to believe that he was here for her as well. She didn't know what to say to him, a part of her just wanted to kiss him and hold him and spend the night in his arms but she had to know that he was doing this for the right reasons. She had to know how he felt about her. Why had he waited so long to come to her? Was he just using her to achieve his end game?

Sark could see the fear in her eyes. No matter how good an actress she was he could always see past her defenses. The way she seemed scared of being hurt by him made him want to wrap his arms around her and protect her from the world. He wasn't Agent Vaughn. He wasn't going to give up on her or leave her or hurt her. In fact he was doing everything he could to protect her. If only it hadn't taken him so long. Maybe he made the wrong the decision; maybe he should have told her what he was up to sooner but he wanted to have more to offer her. Sark just couldn't take the silence that had grown between them. He had to explain to her what he was feeling before it was too late.

"Sydney I know it has been awhile and I'm sorry I didn't come here sooner but what I have been working on…it's important…"

"More important than me, Sark? Is that all this is, business to you? Well I have news for you

"Sark, I am not a part of some business deal nor I am a pon in your games." Sydney couldn't fight the anger and fear that was boiling up inside of her. It was getting too hard to fight back her tears and she just needed him to wrap his arms around her and make everything right. He had understood her so well and he been so gentle. Why did it seem like that was so long ago and yet only just yesterday? Why couldn't he see that what she really needed right now was him to simply be with her, for the CIA and the Covenant, Vaughn and Lauren and everyone else to just go away and let them just be together?

Sark couldn't bear that he was the one bringing her pain right now. He knew she was close to tears and he wanted nothing more than to comfort her but he wasn't sure if she would let him. He had to make it clear to her first that he was here for her, that his business was important because of her, because it was for her, for them. But he himself was struggling with words, seeing her in so much pain made his heart wrench.

"NO Sydney that is not the case." He finally managed to choke out.

"Then what is, Julian?" She mumbled in a barely audible tone.

"The only reason I stayed away and I've been working so hard is for you Sydney. When you left I realized that we could never be together the way things were. You're a CIA agent and I'm a very wanted terrorist. I've never been a fan of the Covenant and not only because they took my money but because they hurt you and took years from your life and I want nothing more than to bring them down. I know I have no right to come to you now even or to ask you to do anything that would jeopardize your career with the CIA and your morals but I couldn't stay away any longer and I'm finally getting somewhere but I…I need your help. Please Sydney don't say no. I know you're angry that I barged in here after all these months and I probably shouldn't have moved half my stuff in but I was afraid not to. It's a lot harder to throw all of my stuff then to never let me move any of it in and I just thought that maybe, maybe you'd see just how much I want this to work. I've missed you. I've really missed you Sydney."

_I used to be scared of  
Letting someone in  
But it gets so lonely  
Being on my own  
No one to talk to  
And no one to hold me  
I'm not always strong  
Oh, I need you here  
Are you listening? _

Hear me  
I'm cryin' out  
I'm ready now

Lyrics: Hear Me by Kelly Clarkson


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_Know all about  
About your reputation  
And how it's bound to be a heartbreak situation  
But I can't help it if I'm helpless  
Every time that I'm where you are  
You walk in and my strength walks out the door  
Say my name and I can't fight it anymore  
Oh I know, I should go  
But I need your touch just too damn much_

Sydney was speechless. She wanted so much to believe what he was saying. But it was all so sudden and so fast. She needed to get out; she needed to clear her head and go somewhere she could think. But she couldn't just leave a wanted terrorist in her apartment and go for a run in the dress she was wearing. It was just too much emotion at once. She knew she wanted to be him but she hadn't really admitted it to herself before this because she had always known that it was forbidden and could never happen. But now it was an option, but it couldn't be. Even if he was trying to go good the CIA still saw him as bad and he was still wanted by over two dozen other countries. Could it really work? It was too overwhelming. She wanted to take the risk but she didn't want to get hurt. Vaughn had left her scared and Sark was Sark. He was evil and cruel and cunning but he had been so wonderful and gentle and understanding and she had fallen for him. But could she risk that it had all been a facade, a ploy to get her to trust him and help him further his ultimate goal?

_Loving you isn't really something I should do  
Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you  
That I should try to be strong_

But when she looked into his eyes her answer was there.

_But baby you're the right kind of wrong  
Yeah baby you're the right kind of wrong  
Might be a mistake  
A mistake I'm making  
But what you're giving I am happy to be taking  
Cause no one's ever made me feel  
The way I feel when I'm in your arms_

"Yes." She couldn't help but smile as she said it.

_They say you're something I should do without  
They don't know what goes on  
When the lights go out  
There's no way to explain  
All the pleasure is worth all the pain_

Sark was too stunned to say anything. She has been so quiet and then suddenly she had spoken and he wasn't sure if he had heard her right but she was smiling and blushing.

Sydney took one look at his face and realized she must have surprised him so she clarified her feelings for him as she made her way over to sit beside him.

"Yes. Yes I want to give this, us, you and me a try. These past few months have been so hard on me and there have been so many times where I've wished I never left but I've been afraid too. I didn't think there was a way for us. I mean I'm a CIA agent, a very loyal CIA agent until a couple of months ago and I just never thought we'd be able to make it work. But it's worth the risk to me. If you're really this willing to make it work then I am too. I'll do whatever I can to help with the Covenant and with us."

_I should try to run  
But I just can't seem to  
Cause every time I run you're the one I run to  
Can't do without, what you do to me  
I don't care if I'm in too deep_

Sark was so surprised and excited and relieved. The flood of emotions that was flowing through him was too overwhelming. He couldn't resist anymore. He pulled Sydney into a searing kiss. Sydney responded by pulling Sark in closer and wrapping her arms around his neck. But before the kiss could heat up too much Sark began to pull away.

_Loving you isn't really something I should do  
Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you  
That I should try to be strong  
But baby you're the right kind of wrong_

He searched her eyes just to make sure this is what she really wanted. He knew she was scared, so was he. He had never let anyone see as much of him as Sydney had and he never allowed himself to feel so much for someone. He didn't want to rush this, he wanted to take things slow and not mess them up.

"Sydney are you sure this is what you want? I can't promise it will be easy, if anything it'll be hard as hell." Sydney just smiled one of her dimpled smiles and kissed him.

"Of course this is what I want. What fun would it be if it was easy? I'm Sydney Bristow, I can handle anything." She couldn't help but laugh a little at the irony. Her life defined hard. She had died only to come back and find the love of her life married to someone else. She may be tired of fighting but she was also tired of giving up what she wanted. And she wanted to be with Sark, that she was sure of.

"But that doesn't mean there aren't still a lot of things we did to work out. Like why you moved your things in here. Are you planning on living here and not having the Covenant catch on? And how am I supposed to help you with the Covenant? I have a mission tomorrow morning in Paris where I'm supposed to steal a disc and bring you in if you're there…."

'I know. I know, Sydney. I don't have all the answers but I do have some of it figured it. But that can wait. Right now all I want is to hold you in my arms."

_Yeah baby you're the right kind of wrong_

Lyrics: Right Kind of Wrong by Leann Rimes


	6. Chapter 6

**ok since I forgot to do this with chapter 5, I'm sorry and I'm posting Chapter 6 now to make up for it!**

**Vaughn+Sydney****- first off thank you for being my first reviewer! and you're way too nice! I'm sorry to say that the history between Syd and Sark will not unfold for awhile but when it does you will learn all about how she came to be so fond of his cooking! hehe thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**MartinaCruz****- lol I'm soooooo glad that you like this story and I think I am going to continue since I'm getting such great reviews! plus its kinda fun for me to write!**

**Inquisitive1****- yay! I'm so glad you love it! And I'm writing more as we speak! I'm going to try to post every other day or every day depending on responses and well time to write.**

**irionelissa****- awww this one is your fav! really? that makes me feel soo good! I hope you like what happens!**

**You guys are all so sweet and so great! Seriously!**

**Chapter 6**

As the plane took off, Sydney laid her head back, closed her eyes, and thought about all that had happened in the past 24 hours. As the scenes from the night before her filled her thoughts a smile came over her face. She had spent the night in Julian's arms. To think that she had always despised him and now couldn't imagine not loving him. She felt so refreshed and relieved after spending the night in his arms. There was still a lot for them to figure out. Like how to bring the Covenant down and how to keep their relationship a secret from the CIA and everyone else until they could find a way for them to disappear or get Sark pardoned. A small laugh escaped Sydney's lips as she tried to imagine Kendall's reaction to her asking for Sark to be pardoned.

Vaughn, who had been watching Sydney since they had gotten on the plane, couldn't help but wonder what Sydney was thinking about. He hadn't seen her smile, let alone laugh, like that since she'd been back. He'd sensed something different about her this morning when they'd met at the airport. She had been more confident; she walked with an air of coolness, the circles under her eyes had faded some, and she seemed well-rested. He knew she'd been having a hard time since her return to the CIA. Her friends were gone, he had gotten married, Sloane had been pardoned, her mother was still missing, even Marshall had gotten married and had a baby boy, the Covenant was still trying to control her life, she had been kidnapped again for a two months. Eric told him that she spent countless nights getting drunk and barely ate or slept. When she did sleep she was troubled by nightmares of her two missing years. But she still came in everyday and did her job no matter what crazy mission or small country she was sent to. Even after she had been taken from them again for those two agonizing months, she still came in determined to take down the Covenant. Come to think of it, he had noticed a change in her after her two missing months. He had expected her to be even more distraught and disoriented but she had come back with a new determination and she seemed less interested in him. She had made it clear to him upon her return that his concern was no longer appropriate or desired. He still remembered her crushing words.

_He had spent the past two months working late every night, going in on weekends, and skipping meals. There was no way he was going to lose her again. She had just come back after two years and even though he had been happily married to Lauren having her back in his life and then gone again made him realize just how in love with Sydney he still was. No there was no way he was going to let her slip out of his life again; he was going to find her. He couldn't count the number of times he had ignored calls from Lauren or fought with her when he finally did come home but none of it mattered; all that mattered was finding Sydney. And then it happened. Eric got a phone call on his cell at lunch. It was Sydney, she had escaped and needed him to come and get her. Eric. She had called Eric. Not him, not even her father, but Eric. He had been a serious blow to his heart to know that she felt like she couldn't call him anymore. That he was no longer the one to rescue her and comfort her. He had been replaced by Eric. Still he waited at the JTF for Eric's return with Sydney. He had to be there when she came in to make sure she was really back and that she was okay. When he saw her walk in all he wanted was to run to her side and hug and kiss her and tell her how much he loved her. God she looked so beautiful despite her somewhat haggard appearance. She didn't even glance his way, she simply went into Dixon's office. He waited outside the office for what seemed like forever. He had to talk to her. She had to know that he still loved her, that he was still hers. Finally she walked out of Dixon's office and he confronted her._

"_Hey." He hadn't really known what to say or what to expect from her but he certainly wasn't expecting her response._

"_What do you need Vaughn? I'd really like to just get home as soon as possible." Her eyes were like ice, there was no emotion behind them. And the only emotion in her voice was that of annoyance._

"_Right. I just came to see how you were doing, make sure you got back, see if you needed to talk or anything." He didn't know how to tell her that he hadn't been able to sleep since she'd disappeared again. He hadn't given up on her. There was no way he would ever give up on her again._

"_ARE you kidding me?" She smirked. She couldn't believe he was giving her the 'I just wanted to see how you were doing' line again. "I'm not a charity case Vaughn. I don't need you to hold my hand and walk me through this. I was held captive for last two months, the last thing I need is more of your pity and handouts." Vaughn was speechless for a second. She wasn't a charity case at all to him. She was his savior, his angel, his love. How had they gone from reading each other's thoughts and feelings to this?_

"_Syd, I didn't mean it like that. I've been worried about you. I've been working every day and night to find you. I couldn't bear the thought of losing you again and when we found out you'd been kidnapped during your mission I felt like I was dieing all over again. I…I couldn't lose you twice, not again, not without you knowing how much I love you. How much I admire and adore you. I would never, could never pity you. You're one of the strongest, most resilient people I know. I can't live without you in my life because I need you, without you half of me is missing…is dead. Without you I am nothing." He couldn't hold back his emotions anymore. He hadn't meant to say so much but not telling her was killing him. The way she didn't even seem to care what he was saying and the way she'd flinched and stepped back when he'd made a move to cup her face, it was all just tearing up his insides and killing him. _

_Her voice was so emotionless and dry and yet her eyes were filled with hate, anger, bitterness. "So this is really about you and your conscience; your pain. I'm sorry my disappearing has worried you or stressed you in any way but I am not here to make your life easier and you are not here to play my guardian angel. I do not need your worry, concern, or protection. I am no longer yours to worry about. Your wife, Lauren, is your concern. The minute you gave up me, on us you lost me and became nothing to me. It's too late to change that Michael. I don't need you anymore. I've moved on and it's time you move on and focus on your marriage." With that she simply walked off and left, never looking back to see his reaction. His heart had broken all over again and it was all he could do to get to his car before breaking down._

He had known then that she had changed and he had lost her for good. A part of her had disappeared in her time away and in its place was something he didn't recognize. He only wished she would open up to him again. And now she looked so happy, so peaceful, so content. She had laughed; her beautiful laugh. He hadn't heard it in over two years and she wasn't even talking to anyone. She was just sitting there with her head back and her eyes closed. He didn't want to disturb her thoughts but he longed to know and he just had to find out. He got up from his seat and after receiving a questioning glance from Eric he made his way to her seat a few rows back.

"Hey. I just came back to check on you and see if you wanted to go over the mission before we get there. Is everything alright? You seem…different this morning." He avoided making direct eye contact with her. He didn't want her to guess his true motives about approaching her and become angry with him. The last thing he wanted was to upset her or have her angry with him. He just had to know what had caused this sudden change.

She opened her eyes, annoyed at the disturbance. She knew Vaughn was probably trying to get her to open up to him but she didn't need to. She had someone else now, someone who wasn't going to give up on her. She had someone who was going to fight for her now. But it was true she did need to talk to him about the mission plans. She sighed lightly. She and Sark had worked out a plan and a story to feed to Vaughn and Weiss so that they could retrieve the disk together and make a copy for each of them without the CIA or the Covenant knowing. The only problem was that Sark knew there was a covenant mole within the CIA somewhere and therefore their stories had to match perfectly and the plan had to be executed smoothly. Any changes could mess things up. She wasn't sure she was ready to lie to Vaughn and Weiss. True she wasn't that close with Vaughn anymore, but her and Eric had become very tight and she hated to have to lie to him. There just didn't seem to be any other way. As much as she trusted Eric she couldn't risk trusting him or Vaughn with this, not right now. _Oh well show time._

"Hey." Despite her frustration she smiled briefly at him. God how he missed being the reason she smiled. "I was thinking that I should go in alone on this one and that both you and Eric just be on coms. They'll be more suspicious if it's the both of us because no one would ever suspect one person to pull it off alone. But I think I've worked out a way to hack in and turn off the security systems long enough for me to do everything alone and not raise suspicions." Vaughn was stunned. This was certainly not what was he was hoping for. He hadn't really planned on coming back here to redesign the whole mission. He really didn't care about the mission, it was some stupid disc. What he cared about was why there was such a sudden change in Sydney. He wanted her to confide in him again and tell him what was going on with her. Still rewriting the mission this far into it seemed risky to him, although she had a good point about them being less suspicious of one person. But how on earth was she going to pull it all off on her own? It seemed a little dangerous to him and he wasn't all that willing to put her in danger. He was still afraid she'd disappear again and he just couldn't live with that. Even if he couldn't be with her right now, just having her in his life at work meant so much to him. But maybe he should hear her out and see what her plan was. He wanted her to feel comfortable with him again and that meant not upsetting her and being too over protective.

"What'd you have in mind?" She smiled at him in appreciation before lurching into her outline of the mission.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Sydney couldn't help but feel butterflies in her stomach as she applied her makeup. In less than two hours she would be Elle Daniels, one of the many wealthy Jack Daniels, attending some boring party where she'd have to feign interest until she could slip away and retrieve the disc. It wasn't just the mission she was nervous about though; it was seeing Julian. There was so much they needed to sort out. There always was when it came to them it seemed. They had spent the previous night lying in each others arms, just savoring the touch of the other one lying next to them. They'd awoken early to go over their plan for the mission. Sark was going to shut off the security system and block the CIA's com signal to allow him and Sydney to go in together for the disc. When they retrieved it they would each make a copy of it, his would be corrupted of course, and they then go their separate ways. Sydney would tell Vaughn and Weiss that she got in and out without seeing any signs of Sark. While Sark would tell the Covenant that he had stayed unobserved by Miss Bristow and had gone in after her to make his copy of the disc. When they found it was corrupted, he would just blame it on her saying that she must have corrupted the original before leaving. If everything went smoothly and Vaughn and Weiss didn't get too suspicious when they lost coms, they'd be able to get in and out without the Covenant knowing that Sark was betraying them. But they had never gotten around to discussing their relationship or their current living arrangements. Nor had Sark informed her who the Covenant mole was inside the CIA, even though she was sure he knew who it was. She heard a soft knock at her door and sighed. _Oh well, time to be Elle Daniels._

"Come in." She called out sweetly, knowing that he was either Vaughn or Weiss coming to get her. She wasn't completely ready but oh well they could wait. Elle Daniels was known for making grand entrances and was often a little over fashionably late to the party.

"You know you really should be careful about who just let into you hotel room. You never know when a wanted terrorist might come stalking in." She felt his arms lace themselves around her waist and his lips collide with her cheek.

"Julian!" She hissed in a hushed whisper with a mixture of surprise, delight, and fear. "What are you doing here? What if someone sees you? And Vaughn and Weiss are in the next room, they'll be over any minute to get me."

He looked how cute she looked when she got mad. Her face would redden slightly, she'd brush an invisible piece of hair back behind her ear, her pulse would quicken, and she would just glow. He smiled, knowing that she was only concerned about his well being.

"I came to wish you luck and make sure you were okay. I know how you get before your missions. And do you really think I'm an incompetent spy? Weiss and Vaughn are arguing over whether or not they want sausage on their pizza and which pizza place to order from. That Agent Weiss really has some theory about the science of a good pizza." Sark chuckled slightly as he recalled the conversation he'd heard between Weiss and Vaughn where Weiss was going on about the aerodynamics of pizza and that not getting sausage with onions would upset the balance and completely ruin the pizza.

Sydney smiled too, knowing Weiss and his lust for good food. "Still I have to finish getting ready and this is way too dangerous."

"Aww but love I live for dangerous." He smirked. He knew he was egging her on into one their witty banters but he didn't care, she was too cute and it was too much fun to resist.

"Oh no you don't Mr. Sark." She smiled. "I know exactly what you're up to and it's not going to work." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips before continuing. "Now go on, it's bad luck to see me before the mission." She patted him his shoulder, shooing him from her room.

Sark looked at her perplexed. "Isn't that only with brides? I've never heard anything about it being bad luck for missions." Sydney was stumped. She couldn't believe her slip up.

"Well it does because I say so." She responded coyly. Sark looked at her disbelievingly and then smirked.

"You never cease to amaze me Bristow." With that he pulled her into a passionate kiss and then turned and left like it was nothing. As he neared the door he turned back to see a very stunned Sydney still standing there. "And don't forget to wear your ruby earrings." And he was gone before Sydney could respond.

She sighed. He had such an affect on her and she wasn't sure if she liked it or not. He was the only one who could get her so tongue-tied and twisted up in her words. But she couldn't think about that she had to finish getting ready for the mission. As she reached for her jewelry box she recalled part of their conversation from that morning.

"_Julian, what's this?" She asked him as she picked up a small velvet box. _

"_Open it and see for yourself if you're going to be so noisy." He teased her. She smiled and her eyes lit up as she opened the box and saw the most gorgeous ruby earrings in the box. She looked up at him stunned. _

"_Are they for me?" She asked hesitantly. He couldn't help but smirk. _

"_No, they're for my girlfriend." He laughed at her at expression. "Yes of course they are for you." He replied through his laughter. But when she still just starred at him with hurt and anger in her eyes he quickly added. "I was joking about the girlfriend part. They're for you, for your mission tonight. I believe they should compliment your dress rather well."_

_She swatted at his arm and in a dead serious voice scolded him: "Don't you ever joke like that again Julian. It's not funny. And how did you know what dress I was planning on wearing tonight?" _

"_I have my ways. And I'm sorry love but I couldn't help but tease you… But I won't do it again, I promise" He added after seeing the look in her eyes. He pulled her into a kiss before she could respond of pull away from him. There was no way he was letting her stay mad at him when really he wanted her to be his girlfriend and such more. He couldn't imagine himself with anyone else ever again. Sydney Bristow had captured his heart and he was enslaved to her for life._

She smiled as she placed them on. Julian was right they did go perfectly with her dress. He had also mentioned later that they were her coms to speak to him and that they came with a matching bracelet. She wondered just how long Julian had been planning all of this. He had had it all figured out and seemed so confident in its success. She heard another soft knock interrupting her thoughts once again. This time, however, she grabbed her purse with the disc copier and made her way for the door. She wasn't surprised to see Vaughn standing behind it looking at his watch.

"Don't worry Vaughn I just finished getting ready. How do I look?" Vaughn looked up at her and his jaw dropped. She looked absolutely stunning. "Vaughn, do you think I'll pass for Elle Daniels or what?" She couldn't help but take delight in his obvious display of his feelings. It was nice to know that she could still have an effect on him.

"Umm yeah. You look great; no one will suspect a thing." He finally managed to get out. He was always amazed how amazing she could look and she still knew how to take his breath away.

"Great." She smiled at him. "Is my limo here then? I don't want to be too late to this party."

The party was boring as always and Sydney was beginning to get tired of the drunk guys trying to make their moves on her when she finally spotted Sark. _It's about time. Where has he been?_

Sark smiled at her from across the room. She was so perfect. She looked dazzling and she had such a grace about her, even the guys she turned down felt honored to have been noticed by her. For a moment all he could was stare at her in awe of her beauty. But the way she was adjusting her earring reminded him that they were a mission and she was probably listening to her precious Agent Vaughn at the moment.

"Sydney." Came Vaughn's voice through her earpiece. "Have you spotted the General with the key card yet?"

"Yes, I'm making my way over to him now." She responded discreetly.

"Good." Vaughn sighed in relief before tensing up again. "Any signs of Sark?"

"No. No signs that anyone from the Covenant is here." She had only partially lied. Sark wasn't really Covenant.

"Okay then, keep your eyes open and be careful. And let us know when you have the keycard." Sydney rolled her eyes at Vaughn's concern. _Where does he get off?_

Now that Sark had made his presence she knew it was time to make her move on the general. She sauntered over to where he was standing and instantly began flirting shamelessly with him, pretending to be a little too tipsy.

Men are so easy, she thought as she slipped away with the keycard. She had seen Sark slip away while she was the general. Any second now she expected her CIA coms to switch off and to hear Sark come over her earrings. When she did she would make her way to the offices and find the room where the disc was being held. Sark should meet her there where they'd make their copies and be on their separate ways. But when she finally heard Sark's voice she was surprised at the worry in it.

"Sydney." He said urgently. "There seems to be several guards patrolling the corridor where the office is located. We'll have to take them out first and then go for the disc. We'll have to hurry though because if we take too long I'm sure Agent Wrinkles will come to your rescue." Sydney sighed in frustration. After all this time he was still so jealous of Vaughn, but he did have a good point. This did complicate their plans a little. If she took too long getting the disc with her coms off, Vaughn and Weiss would get suspicious and come looking for her. That would most definitely not be good.

"Alright, I'm on my way." She replied as she made her way as discretely and quickly as possible to the corridor. When reached the hall adjacent to it she could hear Sark already fighting with one of the guards and it didn't sound good. She quickened her pace, worried that Sark might be in trouble. She gasped at what she saw when she rounded the corner.


	8. Chapter 8

**MartinaCruz**- awww thank you! I hope you like this chapter too!

**Agent Pheonix**- yay another reviewer! I'm glad you like the cliff hanger! I just hope you don't mind waiting to find out what she saw! And to clear it up yes Sark's voice was transmitted over the earrings he gave her. He gave them to her as coms and he had them made to match her dress. He blocked the signal on her CIA coms too so that Vaughn and WEiss wouldn't hear anything.

Okay well heres Chapter 8! Hope you all like it! and please review! it makes me update faster!

**Chapter 8**

"Sydney. Sydney, wake up."

Sydney opened her eyes and tried to focus on the voice that was calling her. Her head was pounding and everything was a little fuzzy.

"Sydney, are alright? Can you stand?" Sydney focused in on the wrinkled brow that was starring down at her.

"Vaughn? What happened? Where am I?" Sydney was confused. Where was Julian? The last thing she remembered was rounding the corner to help him and then being hit from behind.

"I don't know exactly. We lost you on coms and you when you didn't come back I got worried and came looking for you. I found you lying here with the copied disc in your hand. What happened Syd? Did Sark show up?"

"What?" How could she have a copy of the disc? She hadn't made one; she'd never even made it to the room. "I don't remember anything. I don't think Sark was here." _What had happened to Julian? How am I supposed to explain not remembering getting a copy of the disc? What am I going to write in my mission report? And how do I know if this is an accurate copy of the disc? What if Sark gave me a corrupt copy since he just disappeared and let me here? _Sydney tried hard to remember what she had seen to try and piece together what must have happened but her head just ached.

"Syd, can you stand? We really need to get out of her before more guards come looking to for their friends." Sydney followed Vaughn's eyes and saw five guards lying unconscious on the ground. She started to lift herself up off the ground and immediately sat back down. She was dizzy beyond belief and the room turned to a blur as she tried to stand again. Using Vaughn for support she managed to start walking at a pace much slower than Vaughn was comfortable with.

Vaughn looked over at Sydney with worry written all over his face. _She seems so confused. What happened here? And why doesn't she remember?_

"Syd, can you walk any faster? We really have to get of here." Sydney just groaned slightly and tried to pick it up. Vaughn was still worried and was trying to formulate a good escape plan. As they were sure to draw attention to themselves with Sydney not being able to walk on her own for more than a second.

"Syd, can you pretend to be drunk?" Sydney just looked at Vaughn with are-you-freaking-kidding-me glare.

"It's the only way I figure we can get through the party without looking too suspicious." Sydney just grunted in agreement because talking took too much effort and nodding her head was so out of the question.

Somehow Vaughn and Sydney managed to escape the party without raising too much attention. Once they reached were out of party Vaughn picked Sydney up and carried her to the op tech van.

"Whoa! Syd you look awful!" Weis's voice rang through Sydney's head causing it to pound even more. _What had happened_?

"Not now Weiss." Vaughn barked too overcome with worry about Sydney to put up with Weiss's remarks. "Just drive to the airport. Now."

Weiss sensing Vaughn was not in the mood simply complied and drove off as fast as he could. Vaughn began attending to Sydney immediately; trying to make sure she was comfortable and searching through the med kit to find some pain killers or anything really to make her feel better.

"Here Sydney drink some water. Do you want to talk about what happened?" Vaughn was seriously worried by Sydney's strange behavior. It wasn't like her to take so long to recover from a blow. He knew letting her go in alone had been a bad idea, he never should have agreed to this plan.

"Honestly Vaughn I don't remember what happened." She sighed as she closed her eyes and tried to remember what she had seen. How much could she tell Vaughn? What story was she supposed to feed to him? She had to think fast before he got anymore suspicious. "The last thing I remember is walking out of the office with the disk. Someone must have come up behind me and knocked me out." She couldn't meet his eyes while she was telling him. She was too afraid he'd see right through her lie.

"And the guards? Had you knocked them out before you went in or after?" _Oh shit, the guards! Right, right okay think._

"Before. I tried to tell you but I realized my coms were down when you didn't respond and so I took the guards out and tried to get of the office as quickly as possible." She flinched in pain. Her head hurt and all this lying and trying to remember what happened was only making it worse. Vaughn sensing her pain and frustration dropped it.

Vaughn just watched Sydney sleep on the plane. She seemed so peaceful, so perfect, and so innocent. He wished more than anything he could take her pain away, but he was helpless. He blamed himself for her getting hurt on this mission; he should have been with her. When they'd lost coms and he couldn't get to her he was so afraid that he'd lost her again and he just couldn't bear it. When he had found her she looked so fragile and he wasn't sure she was breathing. It was then he'd realized what he had to do. He had to divorce Lauren. He wasn't in love with her, not like he should be. All they did was fight anymore anyway because Lauren couldn't understand why he worked so hard and she hated him going on missions with Sydney. The fact that Lauren couldn't trust him really pissed him off. He hadn't gone running back to Sydney when she'd come back. He'd wanted to; he wanted to never stop holding her when he first saw her in Hong Kong but he had remained loyal and faithful to Lauren. He had purposely kept his distance from Sydney. But he couldn't bear it anymore. Sydney was the one he wanted to be with, not Lauren. It wasn't fair to either one of them to continue the marriage. When they got back he would ask her for a divorce.

Vaughan shifted around in his seat but continued to gaze at Sydney's sleeping form thinking of all the things he wanted to say to her. Maybe, just maybe, if she saw how sorry he was and how in love with her he was she could forgive him. He truly hated how things were between them. At the very least he wished they could be friends again. He'd see her and Weiss drive in to work together. They'd be talking over a cup of coffee and sharing their own inside jokes, they'd take lunch together and Weiss was the one reading Sydney's thoughts during debriefings; not him. It killed him to not be a part of her life anymore. He would do anything to bridge the gap that had grown between them since her disappearance, even divorce Lauren.

"Hey Weiss," Vaughn called softly as he made his way to Weiss's seat. "I was wondering if maybe I could stay at your place for a couple of days when we get back." Weiss looked up startled by Vaughn's appearance.

"Dude, if you're that worried about Sydney why don't you just move in with her." Weiss joked lightly, but Vaughn just glared back at him. "Whoa buddy, calm down. I was just joking around. You and Lauren having problems?" Weiss looked at Vaughn with genuine concern and curiosity.

"Are you kidding me?" Vaughn mumbled. _We've only been fighting practically non-stop for the past couple of months._ "Um yeah, I guess you could say that. We're getting a divorce."

"YOU"RE WHAT!" Weiss yelled in shock causing Sydney to stir slightly.

"Weisss." Vaughn hissed. "Keep it down. Okay?" He glanced over at Sydeny to make sure she was okay before repeating for Weiss that he was getting a divorce.

"Since when are you and Lauren getting a divorce? Does Sydney know? Why am I the last one to know these things? Come on, man I was the best man at your wedding, you're supposed to tell me these things first." Weiss huffed at Vaughn. He was tired of being left out of the loop.

"Eric, you are the first to know. I haven't even told Lauren yet." Vaughn sighed. Eric could be so frustrating sometimes.

"Oh." Weiss said looking somewhat defeated and yet excited to be the first to know. "When did you decide this? And why now?"

"I just realized that Lauren and I aren't in love like we were when we got married and even then…it was nothing like the love we should have had. And we've been at each others throats constantly for awhile now and I don't see why would stay married when both of us would be happier if we got a divorce." Vaughn was surprised to see Eric break out into a wide grin and start to laugh. "What is so funny?" Seriously, Vaughn couldn't see the humor in all of this.

"You. Do you seriously believe all that bull you just said?" Vaughn just stared at Weiss, puzzled at what he was getting at. "You and Lauren have never been in love," Weiss continued, "not like you and Sydney were anyway. And you've finally come to your senses and realized that you don't have to stay married to Lauren. It's okay to divorce her and go after Sydney. But let me warn you, Sydney has changed. She's not the same Sydney she was when she disappeared. She has had to deal with a lot and if you hurt her again I promise you that you will see the wrath of Eric Weiss."

"Yeah okay, the wrath of Eric Weiss. I'm worried now." Vaughn joked. "Seriously, Eric, I'm not planning on hurting Sydney again. I never meant to hurt her in the first place."

"I know you didn't mean to Mikey but you did and I'm just asking you to be more careful this time. Sydney may be strong but I don't know how much heartbreak she can take."

Vaughn sighed as he hung his head in his hands. "I know, I know. That's why I'm not going to tell her about the divorce until we get back and get it finalized. Besides I don't want Sydney to think she was the only reason for the marriage failing. I know she'd be even more mad at me then. The truth is I should have never married Lauren."

"Damn straight you shouldn't have." Vaughn a look at Weiss.

"Thanks Eric. You know you were the best man at my wedding you could have said something then."

"Hey, I was just trying to be supportive," Weiss countered.

"Yeah, yeah. So can I stay on you couch or what?" Weiss nodded.

"Of course you can. What are best man's for?" Weiss and Vaughn just laughed. Only Eric Weiss could make someone laugh when they were as down as Vaughn was.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Sydney had been cleared from medical services. She had suffered from a heavy blow to the head which resulted in a mild concussion. The doctor had felt that since this was her third concussion since her return that it was no wonder she was having so much trouble recovering and could possibly account for some her memory loss of the incidents leading up to the blow. The doctor had been less then thrilled to see that she had received yet another concussion and had firmly told her to be more careful. Sydney could have just seen her pulling her from active duty if she had known it was actually her fourth concussion since her return. Still it bothered her that Julian had just left her there and had somehow left a copy of the disc with her.

The disc had been given to Marshall and was in analysis. She was to report to a brief meeting with Dixon, Vaughn, Weiss, and her father before she was going to be allowed to go home and rest. She forced a smile as she walked through the halls of the JTF and into Dixon's office.

"Ahh good Sydney you're here." Dixon said looking up at her as she walked in the room. "Everything go okay at medical services?" He already knew that she'd been cleared, he'd called down just a moment ago to check on her. He was planning on giving her the day off; she could use the rest.

"Yup. I'm cleared for active duty; I just have a mild concussion." She took a seat next to Weiss and felt his hand give hers a squeeze to left her know he was there for her. She appreciated it but all she really wanted was to get this over with so she could go home and find out what had happened to Sark.

"Agent Vaughn and Agent Weiss said that you don't remember what exactly happened after retrieving the disc. Is that right?"

"Yes. I remember losing coms and there being more guards than anticipated there and when I came out of the office I was hit over the head and that's the last thing I remember." How many times was she going to have to lie?

"And Sark," her father began, "you don't recall seeing him or anyone else working with the Covenant there?"

"No. As far as I know Sark wasn't there." Sydney sighed and tried to focus, her head was beginning to hurt again.

"May I ask, Sydney why you felt it necessary to go in by yourself?" _Why does Dad always have to question my decisions_.

"I thought it would be less suspicious if only one of us went in and I was perfectly capable of getting the disc without help." Sydney matched her father's current glare with one of her own. She did not appreciate being second guessed by her father.

"A careless miscalculation which caused you a concussion and could have compromised the entire mission. Not mention that you could have been kidnapped or killed again." Jack barked at Sydney like she was an incompetent rookie, causing her to become furious.

"I can take care of myself…"

"A fact I believe you have failed to prove," Jack countered. Dixon sensing an all out fight between father and daughter was going to begin jumped in.

"Marshall is analyzing the disc now and trying to pick up any camera feed from the party to see if we can spot Sark. Since the mission was still a success and the disc is in our possession why don't you take a day off to rest and recuperate. I'm sure you could use it Sydney." Sydney was too angry with her father to argue and simply nodded. "Good. Then if no one has anything else to say you're all dismissed. I expect your reports to be in by 5:00pm tomorrow, even if you're not in the office." Sydney nodded again, understanding that Dixon expected her report to be in as well even though she had the day off. Sydney briskly exited Dixon's office, gathered her things, and left without talking to anyone. She was in no mood to be polite or have idle chit chat and she certainly wasn't in the mood for one of Vaughn's or Weiss's are-you-okay talks. She didn't even feel like going home anymore, true she needed answers but she needed time to think too. She needed to clear her head and figure out what was going on, so she headed for the pier.

"Hey Marshall," Vaughn called out, "Have you seen Lauren anywhere?"

"Oh hey there Vaughn. How's it going? Looking for the Mrs.?" Vaughn just nodded to Marshall's obvious question. "Sorry, I haven't seen her all day. I think I heard something about her having a trip for the NSC though."

"Okay, thanks Marshall." Vaughn said as he started to walk away.

"Sure…no problem…" Marshall mumbled as he went back to his office to finish deciphering the disc.

Vaughn was confused why hadn't she mentioned having a trip for the NSC to him. Had she not known before he left? But why then wouldn't she have left a message on his cell phone? What would the NSC even need her to go on a trip for now? Vaughn grabbed his cell phone and tried both Lauren's phone and their home phone again; he had to talk to her.

By the time Sydney pulled into her driveway it was pitch black out. Even Weiss had turned his lights off, although it looked like he had a visitor judging by the extra car in his driveway. _hmm I didn't know Weiss was seeing anyone. Oh well_. She was tired, worn out, and didn't want to do anymore thinking. She still had no idea what had happened to Julian or why he had left her there like that but she knew that without Julian she couldn't answer those questions and she had no idea how to get a hold of him.

She didn't bother to turn any lights on as she entered her apartment; she was only going to be going straight to bed. She placed her bags down next to her closet, went into the bathroom and began getting ready for bed. She came out of the bathroom in a tank top and loose shorts and shuffled across her floor to her bed. It felt so good to be getting into her own bed but as she crawled under the covers she felt a stiff form already lying there. Immediately she chided herself for not sensing the presence before this and she reached to turn on a light.

"Julian?" As he rolled over to face her she saw his bruised and cut face; she suddenly remembered everything and was both hurt and confused.

"Sydney," he began cautiously, "I can explain…."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"_Sydney." He said urgently. "There seems to be several guards patrolling the corridor where the office is located. We'll have to take them out first and then go for the disc. We'll have to hurry though because if we take too long I'm sure Agent Wrinkles will come to your rescue." He made his way to the corridor as fast as he could hoping to beat Sydney there and have most of the guards disposed of for her. He didn't want her to think that Agent crinkled brow was a better partner then him._

_As he reached the corridor, he sensed something was off. There were at least seven or eight armed guards, but none of them seemed the least bit surprised or disturbed by his presence. He didn't know if they thought him to be allowed back there or if this was some kind of set up. Either way he wasn't about to take any chances, he whipped his gun out and shot three of them before the others began attacking him. But oddly they weren't firing their riffles at him. He managed to knock out two more before the others pinned him to the wall and Lauren stepped out in front of him._

"_Julian, darling, so good to see you." She purred._

"_Miss Reed to what do I owe your company." Sark smirked trying to play it cool. What the hell was she doing here? He had to get her out of there before Sydney came._

"_Now, now Julian there's no need to take that tone with me. I'm only here to make sure you get your job done right. It seems that you've lead some higher ups to believe that you are either incompetent at your job or that you're not longer loyal to the Covenant." Lauren starred into his eyes trying to read his thoughts. _

"_Please, Miss Reed you know that I am neither incompetent nor disloyal. There have just been some extenuating circumstances that have been beyond my control." Sark was calm and collected on the outside, but on the inside he was worried. How much time had they wasted standing there, he needed to get rid of Lauren before Sydney came. "Now, if you'd have your men here release me so that I can finish this mission before our friends from the CIA arrive." He smirked at the immediate look of jealousy that flashed in Lauren's eyes as she realized he was talking about Sydney._

"_No need to worry Julian. I took care of everything so that there would be more time for a little fun." She smiled her cat like smile and moved in to kiss him as he saw Sydney rounding the corner. Before he could signal to Sydney or push Lauren off him while being held down by two goons he heard Sydney gasp and then watched as she was struck over the head by the third goon. It was too late for anything; the only way to save Sydney now was to play along so he kissed Lauren back putting in as much passion as he could fake. As they pulled apart from their kiss and the goons finally released him he glanced over at Sydney's unconscious form, wanting nothing more than to run to her side and make sure she was okay. Lauren snickered in disgust, "Leave her the corrupted disc." She ordered one of the goons. "Now Julian I believe this is when we make our exit before my dear husband shows up to rescue poor Sydney over there." Julian growled inwardly, hating Lauren for hurting Sydney and hating even more that Vaughn would be the one to save her._

"_Aren't we going to take her with us? And why are you leaving her a corrupted copy?" How were they going to allow Sydney to return to the CIA when she had seen Lauren?_

_Lauren smiled wickedly, "No. We believe it's better to leave her in CIA custody at the moment. But not to worry she won't remember seeing us. Franco over there," she motioned to the goon bending over Sydney, "is giving her a little something to make sure she doesn't remember a thing. She'll just assume she made it to the office and copied the disc when she wakes up. The CIA will never have to know that we were even here." NOO Julian was screaming on the inside. He didn't know what they were injecting into her but he didn't like the sounds of it. Besides, quite frankly he thought there were too many holes in Lauren's plan._

"_But won't the CIA discover that we were here when they find out the disc is corrupt."_

_Lauren looked at Sark curiously for a moment as if lost in thought. "No, Julian. They'll assume that either you were here first or that somehow the disc was rigged to corrupt itself when copied." Sark shrugged in defeat. He would just have to find a way to get the disc from Lauren so he could make a copy for himself and Sydney to analyze. _

"_Well then shall we?" Sark stuck his arm out gesturing for her to go first but then pulled it back. "Unless I need to go make an extra copy of the disc in the off chance that you're planning on making me look like a traitor." He smirked anticipating her response._

"_There'll be no need for that Julian." She frowned at him, hurt that he didn't trust her. "Here have the disc. You can check it out on the plane back if you insist." She flung the disc at him and huffed off; they still had to leave before her husband showed up. Sark smirked even more and tucked the disc safely into his breast pocket. He jogged off after Lauren with the goons by his side; he didn't particularly want to be there when Agent Wrinkles showed up either._

"Sydney you have to believe me when I tell you that I had no choice." Sark searched her eyes praying that she would trust him. He hadn't wanted to kiss Lauren or even be near her but he had to, to keep the Covenant's trust. He had also been forced to turn over a good copy of the disc to the Covenant; after he'd made a copy for himself of course.

Sydney backed away from Sark, unable to comprehend everything. She had seen him kissing Lauren; she had seen Lauren all over him with her hands somewhere they never should have been. Lauren! But Lauren was Vaughn's wife not some Covenant agent that would be kissing Sark. And now to find out that Sark had given her a corrupted copy and the Covenant had received a perfectly good copy; it was all just too much for her. How could he? How could he kiss her like that? How could he betray her like that? How could Lauren take another man she loved for herself?

"Sydney," Sark pleaded, "please say something." Sydney just glared at Sark with anger and hurt flashing in her eyes. His heart sank, he had never wanted to cause her this much pain.

"WHAT would you like me to say SARK?" He flinched, the way she whipped his name out as if he was nothing more than a bitter taste in her mouth. "You betrayed me. You lied to me. You were kissing Lauren. LAUREN! DO I need to remind you that she is Vaughn's wife? What the hell was she even doing there? WHAT kind of game are you playing Sark? I trusted you. I trusted you and you betrayed me. You left me with a corrupted disc to give the CIA and you left me there, unconscious!" She stopped; she didn't know how much longer she could hold back the tears that were stinging her eyes. She was so hurt and confused.

"Sydney, please listen to me. Lauren is Covenant. She was ordered to seduce and marry Michael Vaughn to distract him and keep him from trying to find you. And when you returned and he went back to the CIA, they ordered her to stay married to him to get information out of him. Lauren was never one of the good guys. I didn't know she was going to be at the party. The Covenant sent her because they didn't trust me and they wanted to test me to make sure I'm still loyal to them. If I hadn't gone along with Lauren my whole plan to take down the Covenant and build a life with you would have been destroyed. I couldn't keep them from giving you the corrupted disc and I knew that your dear Agent Vaughn would be along to save you. You have to believe me when I tell you that I never planned for this; I never wanted you to get hurt. Seeing you get knocked out and lying there unconscious nearly killed me, but I knew that the only way I could protect you was to go along with it. Yes you gave a corrupted copy to the CIA, yes the Covenant got the good copy, but I also made a good copy for us. We can fix this. You just have to trust me, please Sydney."

It took all of his strength not to breakdown, not to run over and hold her. He had been so afraid that something horrible had happened to her when he had heard Agent Weiss pull into his driveway hours before, but he knew that it was too risky to go out looking for her; he couldn't risk being spotted. And when she had finally come home and crawled into bed all he wanted to do was hold her and make sure she was alright. But when he'd seen the look in her eyes, he knew she'd remembered and his heart had broken all over again.

Sydney tried to understand, she really did. But it was just too overwhelming. If Lauren was really Covenant and had been ordered to seduce and marry Vaughn then all this time Lauren had been the Covenant mole in the CIA and Sark had known. Sark had known and he'd never bothered to inform her. And Vaughn, she had known that he wasn't in love with Lauren the way he should be but still if Lauren had tricked him then it wasn't really all his fault. She had wasted so much time being angry and hurt because Vaughn had given up on her, he'd married someone else. And now she wasn't sure it was entirely his fault; he had just been fooled like everyone else. Still, Sark had known all along and he had never thought to tell her. And that still didn't explain why they were kissing.

"How long have you known?" She asked him with a death glare. He just raised his eyebrows at her, not knowing what exactly she was referring to. "How long have you known," she repeated through gritted teeth, "that Lauren was Covenant?"

Sark sighed. He hadn't wanted to tell her like this. He knew that she wasn't going to be happy with his answer. "Since I started working with the Covenant." He averted her eyes not wanting to see firsthand the hurt, disappoint, and anger that was sure to be in them.

"Unbelievable!" She raised her arms above her head in disbelief and then threw them back down towards the ground. "You've known all along and you never once thought to tell me? Do you know how much information has leaked out of the CIA? How many missions have been compromised? That Vaughn and I were almost killed? All because Lauren was the mole and you knew and you never said a thing. You never said a damn thing." She was so close to tears but she wasn't finished, she had to know everything. "And you were kissing her. She was all over you and you were kissing her like, like you'd done it a million times before." She bit her lip trying to hold back from breaking down into violent sobs.

Sark wasn't as strong; he choked on his tears as he confessed to everything. "I never told you because I didn't want to hurt you, I didn't want to lose you. I thought if I told you, you would go running back to Vaughn the minute you realized he never wanted to marry Lauren. I thought I would lose any chance of being with you." A single tear slipped down his cheek as he opened himself up to Sydney completely. "I never meant to hurt you or the CIA by withholding the information. I was just too scared that you would see that I'm not good enough for you and you'd go straight back to Agent Vaughn's arms." He looked at her, his eyes filled with tears and pleading with her not to reject him. Her own heart broke, how much more could she take. She understood his choice but still it was so selfish of him to keep this from her, he should have trusted her with it. And it still didn't explain why Lauren was kissing him.

"But why was she kissing you, Julian?" She couldn't even get her voice above a whisper now, when minutes ago she'd been yelling at him full force. It was she could do not to breakdown but she had to know.

"Because," he paused not knowing how to tell her, "because Lauren and I had an affair before I kidnapped you." There he had said. He had told her the truth but it didn't feel any better because he knew that he had just broken her heart.

Sydney just sank to her knees. "You had an affair with her? With Lauren? How could you?" She had known deep down that that had to be the answer but she had wanted so badly for it to not be. It was bad enough that Lauren had taken Vaughn from her, did she have to take Sark too?

"Yes." He replied weakly. "We had a brief thing before you and I happened." He stressed the before, he would never willingly cheat on Sydney.

"But if it was over before you kidnapped me, then why were you kissing her at the party?" It didn't make any sense to Sydney. Had he been sleeping with Lauren all along and just playing her for the fool?

"I don't know. She just kissed me and I was pinned down; there was nothing I could do about it. I told her it was over long ago but obviously she wasn't over it. I told her again on the plane home when I rejected her other advances that there would never be anything between us again." He had to make Sydney believe him. He never wanted to kiss Lauren. He had never really cared for her; she was just a distraction for him. An easy way to mess with Agent Vaughn who had Sydney tied to him. He had let his jealousy of Sydney and Crinkles take over and slept with Agent Vaughn's wife as a way to get back at them. He had realized it was stupid and had stopped the affair. He had never really thought that he would ever have a chance with Sydney and that someday this would come back to haunt him. He despised Lauren for ever sleeping with him and for what she was doing to him and Sydney now.

Sydney couldn't take it anymore; she couldn't even look at Sark. She didn't know if she could believe anything that came out of his mouth anymore. She was too hurt and confused, she needed to get out. She got up, slipped on her shoes, grabbed her keys and cell phone, and just left. She ran and ran until she couldn't run anymore. She didn't know where she was running to but she didn't care. She just had to get away and figure everything out. Could she believe Julian? What was she going to tell the CIA? What was she going to do about Vaughn? Could she tell Vaughn about Lauren? Would he even believe her? She just didn't know, so she kept running until she found herself standing outside of the warehouse where she and Vaughn used to meet in the days of SD-6.

She wasn't sure how long she sat in the warehouse thinking things over, but she was tired and needed to sleep if she was going to have any hope of figuring all this out. So she picked up her cell phone and dialed the one person she knew would always be there for her no matter what. When she heard a male voice answer on the other end she asked, "Can you come pick me up? I'm at the warehouse."

"Sure, I'll be right over."


	11. Chapter 11

[B]**Chapter 11**[/B]

She paced the floor of the warehouse waiting for him to arrive. She couldn't figure out what would be taking him so long, it wasn't like there was traffic at this hour. Finally she heard the gate rattling as it was opened and closed.

[I]"_what the" he mumbled as he rolled over in bed and his arm fluttered around groping for his ringing cell phone. "Where's the fire?" he mumbled. He figured it was work but he couldn't figure out why he'd heard only one cell phone ringing. Then he heard her voice, so frail, so fragile, and broken sounding that he didn't hesitate to tell her he was coming. He was confused as to why she was calling so late and so upset but maybe she'd remembered something from her mission. But it didn't matter; all that mattered was that Sydney needed him. She'd had a lot of broken nights since her return and he was more than willing to be there for her. He fumbled around searching in the dark for a pair of pants and a shirt to throw on. He was just about to put his sneakers on when a light flickered on. He blinked hard, trying to adjust to the sudden brightness._

"_What the hell man. Are you trying to blind me?" He looked around trying to focus his eyes on his best friend._

"_Where are you going? It's a little late to be going on a donuts run?" He laughed a little at his joke before getting serious. "Did work call? I heard your cell phone and just assumed that's who would be calling at this hour but I didn't get a call so I thought I'd come see what was up." Weiss just sighed; he had been made. He was hoping to escape without waking Vaughn but it was too late. What was he going to tell him?_

"_It's Sydney; isn't it? I can tell, but why do you have your keys in her hand? You don't drive over to her place do you? I mean I know you're lazy but man it's only like ten feet?" Weiss chuckled a little. Now who's the clown he thought. _

"_She's at the warehouse. She called and asked me to pick her up." He could tell Vaughn was just as confused as he was about Sydney's call but time was ticking away and he didn't want to waste anymore figuring it out with Vaughn._

"_What? Weiss you gotta let me go." Vaughn pleaded with his voice and his eyes. He was genuinely worried about Sydney and he had to be there for her._

"_What? No way." Weiss was not about to let Mike go, Sydney would kill him._

"_Weiss, come on. I have to be there for her. Maybe I should tell her about Lauren."_

"_What? Are you crazy? Look Mike she didn't call you, get over it. You're still married as far as Sydney is concerned and you going will only make it worse. I'm sorry Mike but you're not going. I shouldn't have even told you." Weiss sighed heavily. He hated yelling at Mike, he knew that he still loved Sydney but right now Mike wasn't what Sydney needed right now._

"_But maybe if I told her about Lauren and I divorcing…." Weiss just shook his head and put his hand on mike's shoulder._

"_I'm sorry, Mike. Not tonight, ok buddy. I have to leave, as it is I've taken too long." Weiss started to go but seeing the look on Vaughn's face he stopped to add, "I'll fill you in on everything when I get back, I promise. I'll take good care her, don't worry." And with that he left not wanting to make Sydney wait another minute. Vaughn just slumped down on Weiss's bed with his head in his hands. He cried for the thousandth time since Sydney's 'death'. It just wasn't fair that they'd been torn apart when they had been so happy and now Weiss was the one comforting her when she was upset; not him. He just stayed there crying until his sobs turned into snores and he drifted off to sleep.[/I]_

As the gates clanged shut, Weiss looked up to see a tear stained Sydney rushing towards him. He engulfed her into a hug, instantly assuring her that he was there to comfort her. He hugged her and kissed her forehead as a fresh wave of tears racked through her body. Finally when her tears had reduced to muffled sniffles he pulled away from her so that he could look into her eyes.

"Aww Syd, whatever it is it's okay, it'll be okay." His heart broke seeing her like this. Over the past couple of months since her return to the CIA he had grown to understand why Vaughn had so willingly broken over a dozen state and federal laws for her. Sydney Bristow was worth more than dying for, she was worth living for.

"I can't Weiss. I can't believe I was so stupid." She couldn't look at him in the eyes. She still wasn't sure what she was going to tell him but he was the only person she trusted at this point and she needed someone to talk to.

"Syd, what you talking about? You are one of the smartest, most wonderful people I know." He smiled at her and was relieved to see a slight a smile appear on her face before another cluster of tears spilled over it.

"You don't understand Weiss. I fell in love with someone and it was great, it was wonderful, it was too fast and too soon but it was great. He freed me and gave me back strength that I'd lost and I put my trust and faith in him. I got attached and that was my mistake. I wasn't supposed to get attached. But he was wonderful, so wonderful but it's all over now. I pushed him away and still I got attached and now he's gone for good and I can't have him back. He was never mine to love anyway. I was never supposed to fall him." [I]_He was playing for the other side, he was the enemy. How could I let myself get so involved?[/I] _"I told myself that it was a bad idea and I tried so hard to stop it. I tried not to feel for him, but I did anyway. I knew it would end up like this; I knew I couldn't trust him, but I wanted so badly to be able to. Oh god Weiss I've made such a mess of things." She slumped down to the ground, covering her face in her arms. Weiss was left standing in shock and confusion; this was not at all what he had been expecting. Sydney had fallen in love? He hadn't even known she was seeing someone. He didn't know what to say. For once the great Eric Weiss was completely speechless.

"I'm sorry Weiss," she sniffled as she wiped her tears on her shirt. "I shouldn't have called you out here and drug you into this. I just don't know what to do anymore or who to trust. I feel so lost."

Weiss kneeled down so that he was at eye level with her and raised her chin with his hand so that she was looking at him. "It's okay. You don't have to have all the answers all the time you know. I'm here for you. We'll figure this out together, okay?" She nodded and he pulled her into another tight hug.

"Now can you tell me who this mysterious guy is or is it too embarrassing?" She laughed. She loved how Weiss always allowed her an easy out to a question she didn't really want to answer.

"No, I'm sorry but I can't tell you. Not just yet anyway." He knew not to push her, when she was ready she would come around.

"Okay, can you tell what happened to make you hurt like this? Like do I need to go put a hit on this guy or what?" She laughed thinking about what Weiss would do if she told him it was Sark and that Lauren was a Covenant agent and that she'd caught them kissing.

"I caught him kissing another girl." It was part of the truth and enough to discuss with Weiss.

"Oh. I see. Did you ask him about it? Maybe there is a reasonable explanation." Weiss couldn't think of one but he was trying not to focus on the negative. Because if he did he knew he would have to force Sydney to tell him who this guy was and then go hunt his ass down.

"He said she was his ex and that she had thrown herself on him and that nothing was going on between them." She searched Weiss's face to see what he was thinking. She felt so stupid and childish. It was like she was in high school all over again.

"Well see, he has a good explanation. He didn't want to kiss her, she just kissed him. But I'm guessing you don't believe him." He eyed her questionably trying to gauge what she was feeling. He was good, but even had to admit he wasn't as good as Vaughn.

"I don't know. He doesn't have the greatest track record when it comes to women and relationships but I guess it's possible he's telling the truth. It's just…oh I don't know, never mind." She couldn't get into the specifics with Weiss. It was more than just the kiss that was bothering her; it was everything that he had withheld from her. It was the fact that the CIA had a corrupted disc on their hands and the Covenant had the real copy. But she couldn't explain that to Weiss without telling him that she had fallen in love with none other then Julian Sark.

"Well I guess you have to decide how much you trust and love this guy. And you're a super spy you can always tail him or have him tailed and see what you turn up." She smiled one of her beautiful smiles that made his heart skip a beat. "It'll be okay, I'm sure of it."

"How do you know?" She couldn't help but ask where Weiss's confidence came from. She'd lost all her confidence when the Covenant had stolen two years of her life and the man she'd been in loved with had married another woman.

"I don't know it's a mystery." Weiss grinned as Sydney laughed. He knew quoting Shakespeare in Love was a little tacky but it worked done the less. He loved making her laugh, even if it wasn't that same laugh from two years ago.

"You're right Weiss. I'm Sydney Bristow, I'll find out the truth." She got up off the ground, rubbed her hands on the back of her pants, and grabbed Weiss's arm. "Let's go home," she yawned, "I'm a little worn out."

Weiss just chuckled and headed for the gate, arm in arm with Sydney.


	12. Chapter 12

[B]**Chapter 12**[/B]

Sark hadn't known what to do when she'd left. He knew it was way too dangerous to follow her and he had sensed that she needed some alone time to sort everything he had just told her out. But she had been gone for hours and he was beginning to wonder if something had happened to her or if she was ever going to come back. He had thought about packing up his stuff; he'd actually packed and then unpacked his things several times. He couldn't decide which was better. He wanted to stay and fight for Sydney but he knew that she had been pretty pissed off when she left and that he had broken a lot of hard earned trust. He couldn't imagine what pain seeing him kissing Lauren had caused her. He knew that if he saw her kissing Agent furrowed brow that his heart would break too. He only hoped that his actions didn't lead straight back into the arms of her guardian angel. He had planned on telling her about Lauren when the time was right but he had truly been afraid of losing her. It seems though that he had anyway. He buried his head in her pillow trying to soak up her scent but it brought tears to his eyes. They had spent such a wonderful night lying her bed together just the other night and now he doubted if he'd ever get to hold her again. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her again. When she'd walked out on him before and returned to the CIA he'd been lost. He had come to the realization that his life was nothing with Sydney Bristow in it. He would do anything to keep her in his life and to make her happy.

He'd heard Agent Weiss's car pull out of his driveway and he had assumed that he was going to get Sydney. At least she had called Agent Weiss and not Wrinkles. He was sure when the two got back he would be arrested and detained by the CIA, but he didn't care. He would do anything to win back Sydney's trust, even if it meant sitting in a cell for months. He never expected to her to come alone; at least not like she did.

Sydney spent the car ride home thinking about Sark and everything with the Covenant. She hated the Covenant for everything that they had done to her and the people she cared about. They had taken two years of her life, tricked the man of her dreams into marrying someone else, and forced her to play a part she never wanted. But it wasn't only the Covenant she was mad at; it was everyone.

Everyone wants me to play a part, to be somebody and I do my best to be that person for them but sometimes it just becomes such a mess. Sometimes even they don't know who they want me to be. They want me to be bubbly and happy; yet they want me to be weepy and talk about all of my problems. Then, then they want me to be strong and work them out without help or breaking down so that I can go back to being bubbly again. Others want me to be there for them, to be their crying shoulder and offer my advice and support. But there's Vaughn and Weiss who want to be crying shoulder and want to solve all of my problems and watch over me as if I need to be protected even though their the same people who want me to be strong. But with Sark, with Sark I can just be me. I don't have to worry about who he expects me to be. He's seen all of me and he still respects and loves me. He never once placed expectations on who he wanted me to be. He's never complained about my decisions or actions. He may not always agree but he still supports and loves me. But most importantly he doesn't try to mold me into someone else. He loves me just the way I am and it's the most comforting thing in the world. When I'm with him I don't have to pretend, I don't have to think, I can just be. We can sit and talk for hours about nothing and everything. I can tell him all my silly dreams, plans, and fears and he doesn't judge me or make me feel stupid about them. He accepts them, he accepts me. He truly, honestly accepts all of me. I can't lose him, not without a fight. All of this stuff with the Covenant and Lauren doesn't matter. It was so silly of me to ever get so mad about it. Why couldn't I just trust him the way he trusts me? Why did I have to use this to try and push him away from me? If he says that he didn't want to kiss Lauren and he had to turn over a good copy of the disc to the Covenant then I should just believe him. And his story does make sense and he did make a good copy for us to analyze. I can still feed the CIA the correct information and stay one step ahead of the Covenant. Even better, now that I know that Lauren is the Covenant mole I can take actions to prevent her from continuing to compromise our missions and leak information to the Covenant. This can work; no, this has to work.

Sydney was too lost in her thoughts to even realize that Weiss had pulled into his driveway. Weiss laid a hand on her shoulder. He was a little concerned about her behavior and why she was being so secretive about this guy. But just like Vaughn, he had learned not to push Sydney. When she was ready she would open up to him and he had to trust her judgment about when that time was.

"Hey," he spoke softly, "you want me to walk you home? I can stay the night if you like. I'm not special and don't have work off tomorrow like you but I can stay if you'll feel better." He teased her to try lightening up the mood but he noticed that she tensed a little when he'd suggested spending the night at her place.

"No, its fine." She smiled, grateful for his devotion to her. "I'll be okay. I promise. If I need anything else I'll call you." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek as she undid her seatbelt. She climbed out of his explorer and made her way into her house. Weiss didn't go into his own apartment until he'd seen her disappear behind her front door.

As soon as Weiss walked in the door he expected Vaughn to be on his back about what had happened. Instead, he found him passed out on his bed. He could tell that Vaughn had been crying and that he must have just passed out there from shear exhaustion. Figuring it was better to let him sleep, since he didn't know what exactly to tell him anyway, he made himself comfortable on the couch. He couldn't help but wonder who Sydney had fallen in love with or when even. But he was more concerned with how he was going to tell Vaughn that Sydney may have found herself someone else to love. Eventually he drifted off into sleep, deciding to think about it when he was more awake.

Sydney sighed as she shut the door and leaned against it with her head back and eyes closed. She hadn't been sure if Sark was going to be there when she got back. She could hear him in her room and wondered if he was packing. She really didn't want him to go. Despite everything she really didn't blame him and she was in love with him. She was angry with Lauren and the Covenant for doing this to them; to her, to Sark, to Vaughn, and everyone else she cared about. She knew that she loved Julian but a part of her still loved Vaughn. Even so, she knew that no matter how confused she was she did not want Julian to go. She wanted to spend tonight and many more nights in his arms.

Sark had heard Sydney come home and he'd wanted to run out and gather her into his arms but instead he had refrained. He was still unsure about what to do. Would she still be mad? Did she trust him and believe his story? Would she want him stay or leave? He didn't know so he pulled a bag out and placed it on the bed and started to pack again. He expected her to walk in on him but when she didn't he became worried. He grabbed his gun and made his way out of the bedroom.

When he saw Sydney using her front door to hold herself up he wanted to run to her all over again. She looked so tired, so worn, and yet, oddly determined. He let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. She was okay, she was home safe. They still needed to talk but she was home, alone.

Sydney heard Sark come out of the bedroom and took a minute before opening her eyes. She was still confused and was having trouble admitting to herself just how strongly she felt for Sark. Her heart fluttered for a moment when she saw Sark had a gun in his hands. She panicked without meaning to.

Sark noticed her stunned and frightened expression and was perplexed for a second. When her followed her eyes he realized she was starring at his gun. "I heard you come in and when you didn't come back into your room I…I was worried that you were an intruder or that you were…hurt." He struggled not knowing what she was thinking and berating himself for being so stupid not to hide his gun. [I]_God she probably thinks I was going to shoot her. Way to go Sark.[/_I]

"Oh. Sorry, I just needed a minute to think." She looked at her hands, not knowing what to say or do. She hated fighting with Sark. She still remembered the first time they really fought since they had gotten intimate.

[I]_Sark had gone out to take care of some things and Sydney had busied herself cleaning up her room. It had been a month and things with Sark were going really well. She was healing nicely but Sark was still very protective of her. He hadn't left her alone at the mansion more than once. Neither of them went out if they didn't have to. It wasn't worth the risk. But Sark had had to go out today and Sydney was beginning to get restless. She couldn't help but let her mind wander to the CIA and Vaughn. Were they still looking for her or had they given up on her again? Was Vaughn just as happy to see her go again? He probably was glad she was gone. Things were sure to have gotten much better with his wife since her disappearance. He probably didn't even miss her. She knew she shouldn't care anymore but it still hurt. Even though she knew that she was developing strong feelings for Julian, she couldn't help thinking about Vaughn from time to time. They were so different and yet so similar. They both loved her and worked to protected, well at least Vaughn had before Lauren. But Sark was no boy scout. He lived for the danger, the thrill. He truly knew how to live life. Vaughn had broken rules when it came to Sydney but Sark not only broke all the rules with Sydney he created a new world with new rules for her to live by. He wanted all of her dreams to come true no matter what the cost. _

_She smiled to herself, Julian really was wonderful. He was far from the monster everyone thought him to be. She heard him coming up the stairs and went to greet him at her door._

_But her joy in seeing him started to disappear as she saw his expression and the way he was carrying himself. He kissed her passionately before leading her back into her room and slamming the door behind him. She took a deep breathe not wanting to be the first to speak. Whatever had happened he had him shaken up. Sark, holding her hand, lead Sydney over the couch. He closed his eyes as he rubbed his face with hand. Sydney reached out and caressed his face with her own hand, imploring him with her eyes to tell her what had happened._

_"It seems that your precious Agent Vaughn, along with you father are still leading an investigation into your disappearance." Sydney was surprised and secretly delighted. She had expected her father to continue searching for her but Vaughn…well she hadn't expected him to go leading any search for her. Sark tried not to read too much into the gleam in her eyes at the mention of Michael Vaughn. It hurt him too much to see that she still loved him and held out hope of rescuing her. "I don't know how much longer we'll be able to stay here undetected. The Covenant also seems to be getting suspicious that both of us have disappeared. I'm worried that our cover may have been compromised." He paused trying to gauge her reaction but it was useless, she was deep in thought hardly paying attention to him. He cleared his throat trying to draw her back. "We may have to think up a new story and plan of action." He stopped there he didn't want to think about what he had to say next. He didn't want his time with Sydney to end. "You may have to return to the CIA before you're fully healed." _

_Sydney starred at him. She wasn't sure how she felt about all of this. A part of her was delighted that Vaughn cared enough to search for her and a part of her wondered how much of it was because of her father and the CIA. She was even more confused about her feelings on returning to the CIA. She was enjoying her time here with Sark and she wasn't ready to leave yet. She wasn't sure what all was happening between them but she knew that she wanted to stay a little longer to find out. She hadn't thought about going back since her and Sark had originally discussed their situation with her staying there until she healed. _

_"Julian," she began unsure of what to say but knowing that she needed to say something. "I…"_

_Sark interrupted unable to bear hearing her tell him that she wanted to leave. "Look Sydney I've really enjoyed you being here but we both knew you'd have to leave at some point. Maybe it's best we let your Vaughn come and rescue you. I'm sure that would make you very happy." Sark knew he had been cold but it was the only way he could keep himself from breaking down. Sydney reached out for his hand but he retreated from her and stood up to begin pacing the room. _

_"Julian I never said I wanted to leave." She didn't understand his cold behavior and frankly she was a little hurt by it. She was beginning to wonder if maybe he wanted her to leave._

_"You didn't have to Sydney." He snapped. "Your eyes say it all for you. The mere mention of Michael Vaughn's name still lights up your eyes. You can't but still want him to rescue you, can you? Does our time together mean nothing to you?" He finished quietly, looking out the window willing himself not to breakdown._

_"Julian I don't want to leave. Of course our time together means something to me…"_

_"But you still love Agent Vaughn. I'll never be good enough for you will I? Tell me what is it that he has that I don't? Did I give up on you and marry some bimbo after only a year?"_

_"THAT's not fair." She retorted. "Vaughn thought I was dead. He had to move on." She didn't even believe the words she was saying but she wasn't about to let Sark attack him like that._

_"Please Sydney you don't really feel that way. He hurt you, left you, gave up on you, and you still love him. I should have known better." How could he have ever thought that she would love him?_

_"I do still care about Vaughn but that does not mean that I am still in love with him. Yes he hurt me and yes I don't know if I can ever forgive him but that is why I haven't and I'm still not running back to him. I'm still here with you Julian." She tried to reach out to him and place her hand on his shoulder but he only ignored her._

_"Yes you're still here because you're still hurt. But tell me Sydney who are you thinking about when we are in bed together? Are you simply fucking me to get back at Vaughn?" Sydney's jaw dropped in shock. How dare he say such harsh and untrue things. _

_"How could you ever say that, let alone think it? I'm here because this is where I want to be. I could have escaped by now I'm sure if I'd wanted to but I haven't even thought about leaving. You are being absolutely ridiculous." She wiped her brow, how could this be happening? Everything had been so perfect until now._

_"No. I don't believe you. I know you still compare me to him. You still think I'm going to desert you like he did. And the only ridiculous thing I have done is fall in love with you." Sydney was frozen in shock. Had he just said that he loved her? He loved her?! Before she could respond he started to leave._

_"Julian, wait! Where are you going?" She cried after him. Was he really going to just leave her?_

_"That is none of your business." He kept walking until he reached the door. Without turning around to face her he continued, "I'm going out for awhile to think things out. Don't come looking for me. I don't care if you leave or not. I'm sure Agent Vaughn will be excited to see you." With that he was gone but he didn't make it far before he broke down crying. Sydney Bristow was the only woman who had ever made him care enough to cry. What had he done? He didn't want to lose her; he wanted to fight for her. But he couldn't fight for someone who was still in love with someone else. If he thought for one second that she had actually started to love him, maybe but after seeing that look in her eye at the mention of Vaughn's name he knew she didn't. He couldn't breathe or think so he just got up, grabbed his keys, and left. _

_Sydney had fallen to the ground sobbing. Julian Sark loved her and yet he had left. He thought she wanted to leave him for Vaughn and the CIA. She didn't know what to do so she just stayed there sobbing for hours._[/I]

She smiled remembering how they'd made up later when Julian had found her lying on the ground in her tears. She had confessed her love to him them and they had made the most passionate love then. But now was different. She wasn't sure confessing her love to him would make it all better. Even now, though he was still jealous of Vaughn and all of this was bound to make it worse. They both stood there staring at each other, not speaking simply trying to read the others thoughts. Finally Sark started to speak as he turned to head back for her room.

"I'll just finish getting my things then." She barely made out what he said because he was mumbling and his back was now to her. But she'd be damned if he thought he was leaving.

"What are you talking about Julian?" She followed him back to her room and saw his bag, half packed on the bed. She sighed and tried to breath at a steady rate. Sark just looked up at her, his sparkling blue eyes brimming with tears and hope. She grabbed his hand and sat down on the bed, brushing the bag onto the floor.

"Julian I've done a lot of thinking tonight and while I haven't sorted it all out, I know I don't want you to leave yet. I over reacted about everything and I should have had more trust in you and for that I am truly sorry. I know I trust you but seeing you with Lauren really hurt." She paused as some fresh tears tried to fall from her eyes. Julian reached up to brush them away and started to speak but she silenced him with her finger. "No," she said softly, "let me finish. You need to hear this, ok." He nodded and she continued. "All my life I have just wanted to be myself you know and everyone has just wanted me to be someone else for them. I was never allowed to just go crazy or do something spontaneously, ever. And recently I've realized how important it is to me to just be able to do that, to just be me and do things when and how I feel like it. I realized tonight that the only time in my life, the only time that I've felt that I could be myself and not have to live up to some expectations was when I was with you. I love you, Julian and I trust you with my life. I'm so sorry if I hurt you but I was confused, hurt, and angry. I just couldn't handle the thought of losing you. When…when I saw you with Lauren I thought I had." Sark was stunned but he saw her tears starting to fall and he gathered her up into his arms.

"Shh, baby. I got you now and I'm not going to leave you. You're not going to lose me I promise. I love you." He combed her hair as he spoke and kissed her forehead. He pulled back from her and gazed into her eyes. "I love you Sydney Anne Bristow and nothing will ever come between us, I promise."

"Oh Julian." She pulled him into a fiery kiss as her hands snaked around him. He pushed her back so that she was lying on the bed beneath him and stared into her eyes to make sure this was what she really wanted. "Hold me," she whispered. He made a move to get off her and hold her from the side but she held him on top of her not ready to give up his warmth and the feel of him on top of her. He complied and placed kisses up and down her neck line, sending shivers down her spine. She wanted so badly for them to stay in that moment forever and to make love to him but she was still afraid of rushing back into things. But as his kisses continued she couldn't resist him anymore and pulled him up to her lips and kissed him with all of her love and desire for him. This time he was the one left shivering. "Sydney," he whispered between kisses. "Are you sure?" Her only response was to silence him with a kiss and begin to peal his shirt off of him.


	13. Chapter 13

[B]**Chapter 13**[/B]

As they lay there hours later still tangled in the sheets from their fervent love making, Sydney sighed in content. She could stay there wrapped in his arms forever and never need anything else.

"Julian," she cooed.

"Mmmmmm,' he replied.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He raised an eyebrow wondering what she was thinking about. He couldn't believe that he had lasted so long without her. No one was or ever could be as good as Sydney. He didn't want to think about how close he had come to losing her just a few hours before.

"Sydney," he began. "Mmmmm," she groaned as she traced circles on his stomach. "We still have to talk about what we're going to do. You have to tell me what you told the CIA so we can figure out what you're going to put in your report. And then you have to get some sleep so you can go to work. Actually," he glanced at the clock, "I don't think you're going to have time for much sleep." She snuggled closer to him, nuzzling his neck.

"Not now Julian, I just want to savor this moment forever." As much as he wanted the same he untangled himself from her immediately feeling the loss of her touch.

"No. We have to do this now. You have to report in to work in an hour and half and we have yet to figure out how we're going to handle this." She smiled at his worry and determination.

"Oh," she sighed as she climbed on top him pinning him to the bed. "Didn't I tell you that Dixon gave me the day off so I have all day to make up for our time apart." Sark smirked, she never ceased to amaze him.

"Well then Bristow tell me just how much have you missed me." She smiled wickedly as she traced kisses along his jaw line, neck, and chest.

"I'm not going to tell you anything, Julian. I'm going to show you." She paused and began to make her way back up to his lips and then his ear.

"Ohh really," he groaned. She was having too much fun torturing him. "Can you hurry up and show me then because you're killing me." He groaned some more as she repositioned herself on him.

"So impatient." She winked at him as she laid another round of kisses on his neck, pausing to suck on his favorite spot. He couldn't take the wait anymore and rolled her over plunging himself into her. She giggled and moaned both in surprise and delight. She had truly missed him.

After several more hours of exploring each other, Sydney and Julian collapsed amongst the tousled sheets; giving in to pure exhaustion. Sydney curled herself up against Julian, resting her head on his chest. He smiled reveling in the feel of her once again sleeping in his arms. Never is his life was he more content then when he was with Sydney. Her being in his life did something to him that words could never describe. He glanced at the clock he should be sleeping but all he wanted to do was watch Sydney in her peaceful slumber. She was so adorable, so untainted by her cruel world in her sleep and he loved to see the smile that played on her lips. It amazed him how normal an extraordinary woman like Sydney could still be at the end of the day. He only wished that someday she wouldn't have to live such a harsh life. They would take down the Covenant together and together they would spend the rest of their lives. His lips brushed against her forehead as he whispered I love you to her before his eyes finally gave in to the temptation to close.

Sydney smiled as she felt her head leaning against Julian's masculine chest. She breathed in the scent of him and traced circles around his chest, laying a trail of kisses from his toned stomach to his lips. She giggled at his mmmm in response to her teasing and his playful tickling of her sides. She dipped her head down and placing her lips on his ear, whispering good morning between kisses.

"Morning?" He grunted. "You woke me up before noon after keeping me up all night?" He rolled over to go back to sleep.

"Excuse me," she pulled his shoulder back so she could look at his face. "Are you complaining about last night?" He smiled remembering why they hadn't slept.

"No.."

"Then are you complaining about the manner in which you were woken up?"

"Yes actually I am." He grinned but kept his eyes closed. Even when he was tired he knew how to play Sydney's games. She wouldn't win this one.

"Sydney sucked in a mock annoyed breath and laughed wickedly. "Oh really. Well we'll see about that." She adjusted herself so that she was positioned over him, barely brushing her body against his. She rested one hand on his chest, continually tracing circles around his pecks and placed a row of kisses down his neckline. Her lips traveled up and down him until they found his lips and she pulled him into a searing kiss. His hands roamed up and down her bringing her closer and he found himself in her depths once again.

Sydney smiled as she rolled back to her side of the bed.

"How was that for a wake up?" Sark smiled and tried to mock concentration as he debated his answer.

"Better." He laughed as she mocked disappointment and brought a sweltering kiss to her lips letting her know that it was way more then better. She moaned.

"Julian don't tempt me or we'll be repeating that wake up all day."

He smirked, "Would that be so bad?" She giggled a little but reality was setting in and she knew they needed to pry themselves away from the bed for a couple hours to work things out.

"No but we do have some other things we have to take care today. Like my debriefing to the CIA and the matter of us."

"Us?" He raised a playful eyebrow at her. "I think we've settled the question of us a couple of times this morning and last night." She sighed as she untangled herself from him.

"Julian." He sighed running his hand over his face knowing that tone in her voice.

"Okay, okay. We have some things to talk about." He rolled out of bed and began searching for some pants as he added, "I'll go make the coffee." Their blissful morning was over and real life was thrown back into their faces as they both dressed and headed for the kitchen.


	14. Chapter 14

[B]**Chapter 14**[/B]

"What do you mean she is in love with someone else?" Weiss sighed as he watched Vaughn pace his living room. "She hasn't even been seeing anyone has she? I mean has she even gone out at all? This doesn't make any sense. Are you sure you heard her right?" Weiss shook his head sadly. Vaughn had been ranting like this for over an hour now since Eric had told him about his conversation with Sydney the night before.

"Mike I'm sorry but that's what she told me. I didn't push her for more information but I know that she said she had fallen in love with someone. You didn't really expect her to sit around lonely forever waiting for your marriage to end, did you?" Vaughn collapsed on the couch next to Weiss finally giving up his walk around Weiss's living room.

"No I guess not. I just didn't expect her to fall in love."

"I know. No one did. But you moved on and so did she. There isn't really anything we can do about it."

"No there has to be." Mike practically leaped off the couch as he resumed pacing back and forth. "Maybe if I tell her about the divorce, or just confess my love to her…there has to be something I can do to show her that we still belong together. I have to have a chance, Eric. I can't live without her. I can't lose her, not again." Tears finally spilled over Vaughn's cheeks as he gave up fighting them. He couldn't bear the thought of his Sydney with someone else. They were meant for each other, he was sure of it. Weiss sighed; he couldn't stand to see his best friend like this. On one hand he was happy for Sydney. She deserved to move on and be happy. Although he wasn't sure that this mystery guy was the right guy but still he was happy for her. On the other hand, he felt terrible having to tell Vaughn that the woman he was truly in love with had finally moved on and he didn't have a chance anymore.

Before he could say anything more to Vaughn, Vaughn's cell phone began to ring. He looked down at the caller ID to see that it was Jack.

"It's Jack," he muttered as he tossed Vaughn the phone.

"Agent Vaughn," he answered smoothly.

"Vaughn something happened last night with your wife's father. It seems that he committed suicide. As you are aware your wife is on a mission for the NSC and we are unable to reach her at the moment but I thought you would like to know." Vaughn just stood there in shock. Jack was so cold and right to the point he was glad that Lauren wasn't on the phone. Even if he didn't love her no one should find out about their father's death like that.

"Right…okay thank you. I'll call her and tell her." He managed to stammer out before he heard the click on Jack's end. He slumped to the ground not sure how to react to the news that his father-in-law had committed suicide. He knew that given Mr. Reed's status there would be an investigation into his death and that all of it would take its toll on Lauren. How could he leave his wife when her father had just died? He wasn't in love with Lauren but he did care about her and he knew that he needed to be there for her right now. The divorce would just have to wait. He sighed and tucked his head into hands. Eric watched the whole scene play out and wondered what the heck was going on.

"Ummm Mikey, is everything okay?" Vaughn barely raised his head, his eyes brimming with hurt and tears and utter confusion.

"Lauren's father committed suicide." He mumbled before leaning his head against the wall. "How am I supposed to ask her for a divorce when I have to tell her that her father killed himself?"

"Wait, Lauren doesn't know yet?" Vaughn shook his head sadly.

"No, she's still away on NSC business."

"I'm sorry man." Maybe it's for the best, Eric thought. Sydney seemed to have moved on, maybe Vaughn should try to make his marriage work. He sighed, seeing his best friends like this was not easy on him. Looking down at his watch he realized that they were going to be very late for work if they didn't leave in the next five minutes.

"Hey Mike we have to go into work. It's almost 9 and Dixon said he wanted us in by 9:30." Vaughn shook his head as pushed himself off the ground and made his way into the bathroom.

Sark and Sydney sat down at Sydney's dining room table with breakfast, papers spread out, the disc, and her laptop. They were silent for a moment as they both ate their eggs and thought over what they wanted to say. Finally Sark broke the comfortable silence.

"What exactly did you tell the CIA?" He hesitated but he had to ask the question that was on his mind. "Did you tell them that I was there?"

"No of course I didn't tell them you were there." Sydney couldn't believe he thought she would betray him like that. "I told them that I got the disk and then got knocked out from behind."

"Okay so its no stretch to assume that while you were unconscious someone switched the discs and gave you a false one hoping to lead the CIA in the wrong direction. There's no way that the CIA will suspect you of purposely giving them the wrong disc." Sark sighed in relief, Sydney was safe for now.

"Now we just need to look at the disc that you copied and figure out how to leak the information to the CIA. And we need to do damage control on the Covenant having this information."

For the rest of the afternoon, Sark and Sydney sat there going through the disc, analyzing the threat of the covenant having it, and determining how to leak the important information to the CIA. Sydney also spent half an hour writing up her debrief and emailing it in to Dixon. Dixon had already sent her an email informing her that Marshall had found the disc to be corrupted and that he was trying to get the camera feed from the building to find out what happened. Sark assured her that there was no way for Marshall to obtain it and that they had nothing to worry about. Finally Sydney shut the lid to her laptop, frustrated with worrying about how to stop the Covenant. Her head was still spinning from finding out that Lauren was the mole and the Covenant had the disc. The intel on the disc was dangerous in the hands of the Covenant and she couldn't help but feel responsible them having it in their possession.

Sark seeing how tense Sydney was leaned over and began to rub her shoulders; sending shivers down her spine. Eventually she relaxed under his soothing touch and collapsed against his chest sighing.

"What are we going to do about us, Sark?" He inhaled deeply, stalling for time. He honestly didn't know what they were going to do. He couldn't stay with her forever like this. The Covenant was keeping a careful watch on him and he knew it had been risky to even come back to her place after the mission. Yet, he hadn't been able to stay away from her. He needed to know that she was safe, he needed to feel her arms wrapped around him, he had needed to be with her no matter how dangerous it was. Now that reality was setting in once again he knew that aside from the Covenant there were still issues for them to settle. To complicate matters he knew she was hurting over his brief affair with Lauren and he was still enraged by her feelings for agent worry-a-lot.

"Do you still want an us?" He knew it was a foolish question, especially after last night but he had to ask just to be sure. Sydney sat up a little and twisted her body so that she could look at him.

"Of course I do. I love you Julian Alexander Sark no matter how messed up our lives and our relationship may be." She leaned in brushing her lips against his. He breathed her in, deepening the kiss. He pulled back and just stared deep into her eyes, taking in all that she was feeling. He knew at that moment that he didn't ever have to worry about Mr. Good for nothing Michael Vaughn. Sydney Anne Bristow was all his and he was all hers and neither of them would have it any other way.

Sydney sighed, "Why would you think I wouldn't want there to be an us?" Julian shrugged and look down at their entangled hands.

"I don't know. I just thought that with everything being the way that it is and finding out that Vaughn was tricked into giving up on you and isn't really in love with Lauren….besides it would be easier if we weren't together. I mean the way things are we have to remain a secret and it complicates everything. I just want to be sure that you want this even if it means sacrificing some of your safety and possibly some of your sanity."

"Julian, I love you and that means I'm willing to work for us. I know that this isn't going to be easy or safe or even very legal for me. But I'm okay with that because I need to have you in my life. These past couple of months without you has been so hard on me I don't ever want to be without you again. And yes now I know that Vaughn's whole marriage to Lauren is sham but it doesn't matter anymore because I'm with you."

"I know I realize that but sometimes its just so hard to believe that I was lucky enough to have you fall in love with me. You're my whole world Bristow and I don't want to lose you. I want us to work no matter what I have to do." Sydney smiled one of her signature heart melting smiles as he brushed a hair behind her ear and placed a gentle kiss on her lips, letting his fingertips linger on her cheek. She let him cradle her face in his hand for a minute before repositioning herself in his lap.

"Still we need to come up with a plan. I doubt we can keep your presence here a secret forever. Weiss is already suspicious I'm sure after last night." Julian had forgotten all about Weiss going to get Sydney. He had been so relieved to be arrested when she got home that he'd forgotten all about asking her what she told him.

"Why? What did you say to him?"

"Oh you know that I had fallen in love, gotten attached, messed things up, and didn't know what to do. Weiss was actually really good about all of it. He suggested there was a reasonable explanation for everything and he told me to follow my heart. He didn't push me into telling him details." Sydney sighed. She knew that while Weiss had kept his curiosity in check last night eventually she would need to tell him something more than what she already had.

"You know I think I'm starting to like this Weiss guy." Sark chuckled and Sydney smirked picturing Sark and Weiss hanging out together. The image was too much for her and she shrugged it off as a wave of reality hit her. What was she going to tell everyone? She couldn't hide her relationship with Sark forever and at the moment he was still a very wanted terrorist that she definitely was not supposed to be sleeping with. Sark felt her tense up and knew she was thinking about what they were going to do. He too was forming a plan because he knew that it was only a matter of days better either the Covenant or CIA found him there. More than likely it would be the Covenant and that would make things much worse.

"I think I need to find another place to stay." Sydney just sat there remaining silent not wanting to agree with him but knowing that she couldn't disagree. "Between the CIA, the Covenant, and Weiss having a key to this place its not a very good or safe idea. We need to find a place that I can stay and a place where we can meet to go over our plans and swap intel." He paused thinking for a moment. "I'll look into it tomorrow while you're at work and arrange for everything to be taken care of. I'll also work on setting up a meet with the CIA as an anonymous informant so that we can leak some of the information on the disc." He paused again letting everything sink in. "Do you think you could arrange some time off from work? We should really get a mission in order for this weekend if we want to prevent the Covenant from using the intel on that disc to do more harm." Sydney sighed heavily. She wasn't ready for all of this but she knew that as long as she had Julian she could handle anything.

"Okay. I'll talk to Dixon tomorrow about it. I'm sure he'll let me off if he doesn't need to send me half way around the globe." Her stomach growled and she blushed slightly embarrassed. Sark smiled as an idea came to him.

"Sydney, would you like to go to dinner with me?"


	15. Chapter 15

[B]**Chapter 15**[/B]

"Julian…," She stuttered, "we can't just go out to dinner in public. What if we were seen? We would be seen." She added putting extra emphasis on the would part. Sark couldn't resist smiling at how cute she was.

"Sydney, would you like to go to dinner with me?" He asked yet again, not bothering to acknowledge her comment aside from his smile. She sighed slightly at his persistence but mostly at the twinkle in his eye and because she knew that she was caving in.

"Julian, I want nothing more then to go to dinner with you but that doesn't change the fact that it is way too risky right now for us to be seen in public together." He waved her off with his hand and smirked slightly.

"Who said we were going to go out in public? I just asked if you would like to, not if you would. Now you should go shower and change while I take care of our dinner arrangements." She hesitated for a moment and dropped her jaw as though she wanted to say something else but the look on his face let her know it was no use. She simply resigned to walking off in the direction of her bedroom, pausing at the door and then continuing on to the shower. She couldn't help but wonder what was up his sleeve.

As soon as she was out of sight and he could hear the shower running he pulled out his cell phone and dialed her favorite restaurant.

Vaughn's living room floor had a clear path hollowed out from his pacing for the past hour. Lauren was due home any minute and he still wasn't sure how he was going to tell her about her father. His mind drifted constantly to Sydney and who her new love was between deciding whether or not he should be gentle or unfeeling and which speech to tell her. Should he tell Lauren that it looked like suicide? Should he run after Sydney anyway before it was too late? Was he doomed to stay married to Lauren forever because her father couldn't face living another day? Suddenly, finally he heard an engine pull up to stop in his driveway and keys jingling as the driver made their way up to the door. He forced himself to focus on telling Lauren about her father and he drove Sydney completely out of his mind.

"Michael, Michael love I'm home." He heard her place her luggage and keys down in the foyer and rounded the corner in time to see her pulling her jacket off. "Michael is something wrong you look ill?" Her lower lip quivered as she took in his appearance and still he said nothing. He simply pulled her into a hug before leading her over to their sofa in the living room.

"Michael love you're scaring me. Did something happen at work? Is it your Mother? Please tell me." He shook his head to all of her questions. Avoiding eye contact he sighed heavily and began to explain everything to her.

"Jack called me this morning with some disturbing news. They tried to reach you but you had your cell phone turned off and I thought it was better to tell you in person anyway." At this he looked down and shook his head in his hands. "Your father passed away. They're not sure exactly what happened but Jack's already started up an investigation and they're going to find out." Finally Vaughn looked up to see a horrified Lauren. Her hand was drawn over her mouth, tears spilled lightly down her cheeks, her eyes held a mixture of fear and pain. She shook her head no before lurching herself on him and wailing into his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her thin frame and rubbed soothing circles on her back. He couldn't stop himself from thinking about all of the times he had done this very same thing for Sydney.

Sydney emerged from her room to find her entire living room flooded in candle light, flower petals, and the smell of her favorite food. Soft music was playing somewhere in the background and she thought she heard the clink of wine glasses.

"I was hoping you would wear that dress." Arms wrapped around her waist and she smiled as his lips cascaded down her neck sending shivers through her.

"Well I know how much you like it." He smiled as she spun around in his arms and kissed him sweetly. They pulled apart and Sark lead her over the table where their dinner waiting for them.

"How did you manage to do all of this so quickly?" He merely shrugged.

"I have my ways." He winked at her as he lifted her hand to his lips. "May I have this dance?"

She smiled, her eyes mirroring the twinkle in his. She made a mental note to herself to remember this night in the future. She knew that soon he wouldn't be able to stay there every night and this was a special night to be remembered for those lonely nights.

"Yes," was all she said, all she needed to say. They glided around the room with ease for nearly ten minutes. Sark knew that Sydney had to be starving and so he cut their dance short for dinner. Leading her back to the table he saw her smile shining in the candle light and he felt whole inside. Whenever he was with her nothing else mattered as long as he could make her smile like that.

Sydney groaned as she rolled over and smacked the alarm clock for the third time that morning. She curled herself back into Julian's embrace and sighed. She knew she had to get up soon or she'd be late for work but she didn't want to leave the safety of his arms. It had been two months since their first mission together and the horrible encounter with Lauren. She had been doing more missions for the CIA and some on the side with Julian. He would be gone for days doing missions on his own and trying to appear as though he was doing the Covenant's bidding. Ironically enough they had been meeting in secret at the same warehouse Sydney and Vaughn had used. She would go for runs and just end up there or drives to clear her head. They knew it was still secure and hardly used for the CIA anymore so it just seemed the perfect place for them. Still, their time together seemed less and less and when they were together most of their time was spent planning missions and lies. Every single move they made had to be carefully plotted and executed. Another slip up like the one with the disc could cost them a minor set back.

Sydney had yet to disclose to the CIA that Lauren was the Covenant mole. Julian and her had thought it best to keep it a secret for the timed being. Although her murdering her own father and attempting to make it look like a suicide had almost gotten her caught. However, instead of anyone but Jack suspecting her only good had come out of it. Vaughn had gone back to being the devoted husband, helping his wife through her father's death and Lauren had been given time off from the CIA and NSC allowing her more time for Covenant missions disguised as visits to her mother. Even though Sydney knew she was in love with Julian and not Vaughn it still made her sick to see the two of them together, especially knowing that Lauren was only playing him. Perhaps her having this knowledge was, however, the reason she and Vaughn had once again become friends. She knew Julian was not happy with this but she refused to give up Vaughn as a friend. Weiss had only bothered her a few times about her new love and she had simply lied to him when she told him that they'd broken up. And although Weiss sensed there was more to the story he had let it drop with the promise of a pizza and beer night. After which, both Vaughn and Weiss seemed happier. Lauren didn't seem thrilled by Sydney and Vaughn's renewed friendship either but Vaughn told her that she had little say on the matter. Gossip had spread through the office about Sydney and Vaughn having an affair but they simply ignored it. Dixon had noticed a change in Sydney but he couldn't decide if it was good or bad. She seemed more focused on work, happier, and yet she was always tired even after her days off, her appearance was worn but sharp and although she smiled more and on occasion her old laugh was heard something still seemed off.

Julian had arrived on her doorstep the night before, wounded and babbling on with information that he'd come across. They'd be up all night tending to his wounds and developing a mission that could end the Covenant for good. Her heart leapt a little when she thought about it all being over. She could finally just be Sydney Bristow. Julian and her could be together and Vaughn would finally know the truth about Lauren. A part of her felt it was all too, good too soon to be true. It had only been two months or so and even though Julian had been working on it for five months prior to that they had both thought it would take longer. Still she wanted to believe that after this coming weekend it would all be over. It was the only thing that propelled her out of bed as the alarm went off a fourth time. Julian groaned at the sudden coldness that brushed against him in her absence and groped around pulling her pillow to his chest. She smiled and laid a soft kiss on his lips before heading off for her shower.

Within fifteen minutes she was dressed and ready to go to work. Julian had gotten himself up and made her breakfast while she was in the shower. She kissed him passionately as he handed her a mug of hot coffee.

"You ready for this?" He asked her cautiously.

"I guess I have to be." She sighed. She had been lying for so long that the lies just flowed from her mouth without her even having to think. She had been lying to everyone at the CIA about her time off, her missions, and just about anything else they asked her these days. Even when she didn't have a cover story prepared a lie would just pop up and find its way to her lips and roll off her tongue before she could realize it or stop herself. It was both sad and relieving in the oddest of ways. But today she had to tell a big lie. She had to convince the CIA to send her on a highly dangerous mission by herself with no backup and only someone on at the JTF on coms. Sark and her were going on what they hoped to be one of their final missions together to bring down the Covenant. Sark had found a way they could infiltrate a Covenant facility and bring it down after retrieving the necessary information that would ultimately lead to its demise. She was telling them that she was simply meeting up with a contact about some information concerning the Covenant; nothing dangerous, just a meet in an old run down warehouse. She knew it was risky not to bring the CIA in on the truth. It was such an important mission where so much could go wrong. She knew that she'd have a lot of explaining to do afterwards seeing as they were planning on blowing the building up upon their exit but she would worry about that on the plane ride back. For now all she had to do was concentrate on today and convincing Dixon to let her go tonight.

She gave Julian another small smile as he pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead.

"It'll be okay. I love you." She pulled back and gazed into his eyes.

"I love you too." Julian watched her leave for work silently praying that she didn't change her mind. They had spent at least an hour and half arguing over what to tell the CIA and how much to fill them in on. He had felt that it was important to keep them in the dark especially with Lauren still working there. She had suggested telling them about Lauren but he thought it was too soon and if they failed this mission then it would be even worse. No, they couldn't let the CIA know about her just yet. He had promised that if this mission was a success they could tell the CIA and Vaughn about Lauren, but not until then. Revealing Lauren could risk Sark's position within the Covenant and destroy all that they'd worked for over the past couple of months. He knew lying to the CIA wasn't all that was bothering Sydney; she'd be lying to them for months now. He knew she was worried about them failing, about them succeeding, and sadly he feared she was worried about poor agent wrinkles getting hurt when he found out about Lauren. He too feared that without proper backup this mission could go wrong but even more he was afraid of Sydney running back to Vaughn once the truth was out.


	16. Chapter 16

[B]**Chapter 16**[/B]

Sydney drummed her finger nails impatiently across her steering wheel. She had been sitting in traffic for 45 minutes now and she was growing more edgy by the minute. Now was not the time for a traffic hold up. She had somewhere to be, she needed to get home. Her thoughts drifted to her day at the office and the success of her lies. She had waited patiently working at her desk till just after lunch. She approached Dixon alone in his office, no need for an audience.

[I]_"Dixon, I was contacted by my informant who wishes to divulge what he says is very valuable information about the Covenant." She paused not wanting to seem to hasty._

_"Very well. What are his demands?" Dixon smiled sadly knowing that all informants wanted something in return. It was legal blackmail. _

_"He insists that we meet alone, no backup, in a warehouse in Prague_. _In return he claims to only want our protection for he feels this information could lead to the destruction of the Covenant." She paused again and looked Dixon straight in the eye trying to judge his feelings._

_"I see. We can certainly offer him protection but do you think it is wise to go alone. It could easily be a trap. We could send Weiss and Vaughn as backup in case you need them." _

_"Dixon I don't need Weiss and Vaughn to protect me all the time. I trust that this informant isn't going to sell me out. This is the same one that helped us recover the information lost on the disc."_

_"Still doesn't it seem odd that he wants our protection but insists you come unprotected yourself."_

_"Not at all, you know very well that many informants operate this way." Dixon sighed, fighting with a Bristow was not something he enjoyed._

_"And what if he is followed and you are discovered by the Covenant. Do you really feel it is wise to go in alone?" Sydney took a minute to pretend she was thinking. Dixon was right and if it was any other circumstance she would agree but this was different._

_"I'm afraid of scaring away my informant if he senses I have backup. I have no idea what his skills are as an agent but I'm assuming he is fairly top notch." She paused trying to reform a plan in her head. She knew Sark wanted her to keep Dixon in the dark for a little longer but she felt it was time to tell him everything. "Weiss and Vaughn can be on my coms back here at the JTF and call in one of our Prague teams if I need help." There she had followed the plan, Julian would be satisfied._

_"Fine, I will let you go but you must be on your guard. I still think this is way too dangerous for you to go in alone but" he sighed, "it is not use arguing with a Bristow. I know you'll leave tonight anyway." She smiled one of her adorable smiles and Dixon smiled in return at the warmth it brought him._

_"Thank you Dixon. I promise I'll be safe." _[/I]

Finally she pulled into her driveway and made her way into her apartment. Of course Julian had already packed their things and left but he left her a note and dinner.

[I]_Syd,_

_ I believe you'll still have to pack a CIA bag for the trip so I left a duffle on the bed. Your plane ticket is on top of the bag. Sorry love but we have to travel separately one last time. My plane lands before yours so I'll scope out the area and meet up with you at the warehouse down the road. The food on the plate needs 5 minutes in the microwave, eat it darling you'll need your strength tonight. Be safe, I'll see you soon. I love you._

_ ~J[/I]_

She smiled, he was so protective. She'd known that he'd book them on separate flights; it was just too risky to fly together. His private jet was still being watched very closely by the Covenant and Sydney expected Dixon to have a tail on her. She was so entranced by the note and her love for Julian that she didn't notice Weiss come in at first.

"Hey beautiful." He greeted as he made his way into the kitchen. Quickly she crumpled the note into her jacket pocket and began to unwrap her tray of food. "I hear you're going on a mission and leaving Vaughn and me to be coms. Don't you think you should share in the fun and let your dear old pal Eric go with you." He grinned and she laughed.

"Weiss you know I would love to have you there just in case but I can't. It's safer for you and Vaughn to stay back here." She wasn't lying; it was a lot safer for all parties involved if Weiss and Vaughn didn't find out about Julian and her just yet.

"Ahh okay, well I just came over to wish you luck and steal some food." Sydney laughed. Ever since Julian had come back she had been buying food again and Weiss decided that it was only fair she left him steal some since she had been eating all of his food before that.

"Take whatever you want Weiss, just not this plate of food because it's mine." She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed uncontrollably.

"Wait until I tell the boys at the office about super spy Sydney Bristow sticking her tongue out at me like a five-year-old." She smacked his arm playfully.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh come on now I think they would really enjoy the story." He chuckled at the glare spreading across her face.

"Well we'll see whose food you eat after that story goes around." Weiss clutched his heart in mock hurt.

"Ouch, Syd. That one hurts; depriving me of my food source is just plain harsh and downright cruel." She laughed and made her way to her bedroom.

"I'm getting in the shower now Mr. Weiss. Be a good boy and stay away from my dinner."

"Yeah yeah I don't want those scraps anyway." He turned his nose up in mock disgust. "Besides I have all of this." He gestured to the food he had piled up in left arm even though he knew she was in the other room. He shook his head and made his way back to his place. "Talk to you later. Be careful Syd."

The plane ride there had been boring and seemed unending, what with the sumo wrestler in training on one side and the non-stop yapper in the other. Sydney couldn't have been happier to be one step closer to the mission when she stepped off that plane. Quickly she found herself a cab and rode to the meet point.

Julian's heart involuntarily skipped a beat as she stepped out of the cab. Her beautiful brown hair was neatly pulled back in a bun, her eyes looked worn and tired, but she strode towards him with an air of grace and renewed energy.

"Surprised to see me?" She smiled at his awestruck expression as she leaned in to kiss him. It had only been that very morning that she'd kissed him goodbye and yet she felt like it was the first time in months they were seeing each other. He hugged her tightly as the kiss ended and they rested their head against each other, neither wanting to part for they knew they'd soon be entangled in the mission.

"Julian, I don't have a good feeling about tonight. Maybe we should just wait for a better time." At that he jolted his head up sharply.

"No. We have to go in tonight. We have to stop them before it's too late." The urgency, worry, harshness, and fear in his voice was alarming. Julian had always been cool and collected when it came to business matters. He was never worried or afraid and it startled her to hear him so upset.

"I'm sorry Julian. You're right. Shall we go get ready then?" He shook his head gravely, not really wanting to end their embrace.

Thirty minutes later they were decked out in their gear behind the Covenant building.

"Okay we'll split up once we've turned off the power. You'll go to the main computer room and copy the hard drive; while I secure the building and make my way to the executive's safe. When everything is secure I'll set the bomb to go off in five minutes. That should be enough time for both of us to exit the building safely. If anything happens to me just go, get out okay. There's no need for both of us to get caught. If you need help let me know through the coms. Are we clear?"

"Julian I'm not going to leave you behind no matter what." Julian shook his head and then looked deep into her eyes.

"Sydney I'm not going to let anything happen to you, even if that means you have to leave me behind." She opened her mouth to protest but he kissed her passionately interrupting all rational thought.

"We have to go in now." He managed to murmur when he pulled himself away from her. They entered the building side by side and made their way to the power room. After shutting down the main power turning off the lights and security systems, they spilt up whispering good luck and I love yous. Sydney ran to the computer room and prayed that the sick feeling in her gut was only because she was a week late. She heard gunfire echo off the walls as the hard drive was being copied. She cursed it for taking so long and wished she could have gotten her hands on Marshall to get him to make her a faster burner. She couldn't stand the not knowing and called for Julian on the coms.

"Julian, what's your status?"

"I'm three floors below the ground level. According to the blueprints I found in the office the safe is located down here." Shit, the blueprints they had had been wrong.

"Do you need backup?" He could hear the worry in her voice and knew she was two seconds away from running after him.

"No you need to stay there and finish copying the hard drive. I'll be.." All she heard after that was a single gunshot before the coms cut out. Immediately she switched over to her CIA coms.

"Boyscout?! Troopleader!?"

"Mountaineer, we're here. What's wrong?" Sydney could hear Vaughn and she sighed in relief.

"I've been ambushed by the Covenant. Sark's here, he was my informant all along. I think he has been wounded. Order a medivac for when we take him into custody and send backup immediately."

"Mountaineer what's going on? Are you wounded at all?"

"NO I'm not wounded, I think Sark is. Just send a team now. I'm going to bomb the building and get off here hopefully with Sark in custody." She switched off her coms not wanting to have to explain further. She was in tears; she just knew somehow that Julian was hurt. She had to find him. She grabbed the copied hard drive that had finally finished and ran out the door making her way to where she thought Sark was.


	17. Chapter 17

[B]**Chapter 17**[/B]

[I]_I'll sing it one last time for you  
Then we really have to go  
You've been the only thing that's right  
In all I've done_[/I]

As Sark lie there trying to hold on all he could think of was Sydney. She was his angel, his hope, his love. She was the only thing that was important to him and he was not going to let her down. Even if he didn't make it, the mission had to be a success.

[I]_And I can barely look at you  
But every single time I do  
I know we'll make it anywhere  
Away from here_[/I]

Before he opened his eyes he knew she was by his side. He could feel her presence and the scent of her perfume wafted through his nostrils. The pain he was in was nothing compared to the pain he felt when he looked into her eyes. She was breaking down next him and it was all his fault. He should have been more careful, he shouldn't have been so cocky. It pained him beyond words to see the fear in her eyes and to know that he was the cause of it. She was so much stronger then she gave herself credit for but even some things penetrated Sydney. He had been lucky enough to have been loved by her and to have been let into her heart and now he was the one hurting her.

[I]_Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear_ [/I]

He couldn't think straight. The pain shooting through his body was becoming too much. He didn't want to let go, he didn't want this to be the last time he saw her beautiful face, the last time he smelled her intoxicating scent, the last time he felt her tender touch. But he knew she had to get out of there if she was to have any chance of finishing the mission and that was the most important thing. Sydney had to go on without him.

[I]_Louder louder  
And we'll run for our lives_[/I]

"Go." It was barely even a whisper at first but he found his voice. "Go Sydney. You have to go on without me. Take my gun and the equipment. Leave the bomb here. I'll give you a five minute head start and then I'll set it to go off. Whatever happens, don't look back just go on. You have to finish this." Even as he was saying the words his heart was breaking. Tears were spilling from her eyes. She shook her head as she bent over to kiss his face, his lips.

"No." Was all she kept repeating as she kissed him. "I won't leave you."

[I]_I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say_[/I]

"You have to. It's the only way. I'm too weak to go with you. I'll only slow you down and you have to go on. If we go together there's no way we'll make it. I can't, won't let anything happen to you." He gasped for air, talking was beginning to hurt and breathing was becoming a problem. "Please Sydney. I love you. I can't watch you get hurt anymore because of me. You have to go before it's too late." He didn't know how much longer he could stay like this. All he wanted to do was close his eyes; it was taking all he had just to look at her without breaking down. He could feel the cold cement pressing against his back, his lungs ached, and he couldn't move his left side at all. He knew she was wasting time at his side and he didn't know how long it would be before someone would come back and find them. He couldn't protect her like this. She had to go.

[I]_To think I might not see those eyes  
Makes it so hard not to cry  
And as we say our long goodbye  
I nearly do_[/I]

She knew he was right but she couldn't just leave him. He was all that mattered to her; she didn't care about anything else. If he wasn't with her then there was no point in going on. Nothing made sense without him. She couldn't control her tears; all she wanted to do was stay forever with him in her arms. But as she searched his eyes she knew it was killing him too and she knew that she had to go on for him. She kissed him with every ounce of passion in her and he kissed her back with all the energy he could muster. "I love you, Julian."

"I know Syd. I know. We'll find each other, I promise." He gave her a weak smile and squeezed her hand. "we always do." She smiled back through the tears and kissed him. "We always do." She repeated. She stood and walked away before she lost her courage and ran back to his side. She couldn't look back, she couldn't think about the love in his eyes or the way her heart was breaking because she knew she wouldn't be able to go. And she started to run, she'd lost so much time and needed to hurry if she was going to get out alive.

[I]_Slower slower  
We don't have time for that  
All I want is to find an easier way  
To get out of our little heads_[/I]

She hadn't thought about what she was going to tell Vaughn or the CIA. She really didn't care anymore. All she had been able to think about was Julian lying there on the ground dying and begging her to go on and how she'd just left him. She didn't know how she'd gone on and gotten out but somehow she had found her way back to the CIA headquarters.

She had just been cleared by medical services. She had some bruising and a broken wrist that would heal in a couple of weeks but nothing serious. But she had a debriefing in five minutes and she had to figure out what she was going to say. Except all her heart wanted to know was where Julian was. Had he made it out? Would they find each other? He had promised they would but he had been too weak to make it on his own. She should have stayed with him. She should have fought with him and told him that she was staying with him no matter what.

[I]_Have heart my dear  
We're bound to be afraid  
Even if it's just for a few days  
Making up for all this mess_[/I]

The tears were forming in her eyes and she didn't know if she could hold them back but she knew she had to. She had to put on a brave face for everyone. [I]_They can't know the truth, not yet_.[/I]

[I]_Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice_[/I]

"Hey."

"Hey." Sydney hadn't even realized Vaughn had come in as she turned to look at him. He must have come to get her for the debriefing.

Vaughn took one look at Sydney's face and could tell she was upset. "You okay? If you need more time before the debriefing I'm sure everyone would understand."

"No I'm fine. Just a little worn out I guess." Vaughn knew she was more then a little worn out both physically and mentally. Whatever had happened on her last mission must have hit her hard; she had been different like she had been broken again since she came back but he didn't want to push her so he let it go for now.

"Okay, well you ready to go then? I think Dixon and your Dad are eager to hear how the mission went." [I]R_ight because that's what I care about. Oh Julian where are you? I need you here_.[/I]

[I]_Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear_[/I]

Sydney had just finished explaining the mission to them. She didn't know how but the lies just came out of her mouth perfectly. Even she would have believed her story if she didn't already know it was lie. Her father, however, didn't seem to believe it as easily as everyone else.

"And Sark, what happened to him?" Her father stared at her intensely waiting for her response. [I]_Why was he always so skeptical?_[/I]

[I]_To think I might not see those eyes  
Makes it so hard not to cry_[/I]

"I have reason to believe he was killed or at least severely injured during the gunfight. He shouldn't be a problem anymore." She almost choked on her words and broke down in tears as she was saying it. Hearing herself say out loud that he was gone was too much for her. She felt like she was being suffocated and just wanted the debriefing to be over so she could leave and break down. But no Lauren had to put her two cents in.

"Do you have any evidence that Sark died or are you just speculating?" Her horrible British accent rang through Sydney's thoughts and pierced her heart. She couldn't think about Julian like he was dead. No she had to believe that he was alive and coming home to her.

"No. I can't be sure." She gritted her teeth as she said it. Not so much out of annoyance at Lauren's questioning but because she was trying not to break down and order a search team for Julian's rescue and safe return to her arms.

"Then I suggest we assume he is alive and search for him until we find evidence that he is indeed no longer a problem for us." Sydney couldn't believe it. This is what she wanted. She wanted to be out searching him but then it hit her Lauren only wanted to find Julian so that the Covenant could kill him.

"NO." She'd just blurted it out without thinking or intending to. "..That would be a bad idea and a waste of time. I've already told you the building exploded only minutes after I got out. There's no way Sark got out before the explosion and no one could have survived it. It would be an utter waste of the CIA's time and resources to search for a corpse when there are more important matters that we should be looking into, like the Covenant's next move." She searched the faces of her colleagues trying to gauge their reactions, did they believe her? Her heart was pounding and she thought for sure she would pass out or simply burst into tears soon. Finally Dixon spoke up.

"I agree. We will not send out a search team for Sark. We will instead continue to monitor the Covenant as they plan their next move and keep our eyes open for any signs of Sark, alive or dead. That is all for now. Sydney why don't you go home and rest, take a few days off, you've earned it. The rest of us can handle tying everything up from here without you. And if we need you we'll call." Dixon gave her a reassuring glance; he was genuinely concerned for her well being. For whatever reason, everyone could tell that this last mission had severely shaken Sydney up.

Sydney was too tired and too relieved that she didn't have to stay there under their pensive stares any longer to argue. She nodded, gathered her stuff, and left as quickly as she could.

Vaughn watched her go and only waited a minute before following.

"Sydney," he called out. "Wait up." She sucked in a deep breath, she wasn't sure how much longer she could go without breaking down but she turned around to face Vaughn anyway. He took one look at her and wanted to hold her and tell her that everything was alright but he didn't think she would be too receptive to him at the moment. She saw the look in his eyes and put her hand up to stop him.

"Not now, Vaughn." She pleaded. "I just want to go home and go to sleep." She was tired and drained and she couldn't handle going through it all with Vaughn right now.

Vaughn was hurt and curious and he knew he shouldn't push her but he was tired of waiting.

"Then when?" He hadn't even meant to say it, it had just come out. He couldn't help it. He knew she was in pain and he couldn't handle not being the one to make it better.

"Maybe never Vaughn." And she just walked away from him and drove home.

[I]_Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear_[/I]

Lyrics: Run by Snow Patrol


End file.
